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Author search: Andrew Owen

Hunchback 84
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameHnchbk84.sna
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionJump acros gaps to get to a rope. Keys are:O, P and SPACE
CommentsAlistair: Reminds me of a C64 game, therefore crap cut not crap enough.

Graham: Is no better or worse that any of the similarly themed games that Ocean released, however it did generate a "B Integer out of range" error message, which is my favourite kind of error message as it shows a true lack of coding talent. This is one to look out for.


Advanced GameBoy Color Emulator
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameAGE.TAP
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThe first entry in CSSCGC2K (because I sent it to Graham in 1999) is self explanatory. All instructions provided on screen.
CommentsJust look at that! Look at it! It's looks lovely! Okay, so the only ROM that come supplied with it is the loathesome Advanced Lawn Mower Simulation but it's altogether far too professional looking to win. Plus, he even did his own font for it? What kinda' competition d'you think I'm running here, man? This standard of software JUST WON'T DO!

Commodore 64 Simulator
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameC64.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionWelcome to the wonderful world of the Commodore 64. Be enthralled at the lack of lowercase letters and useless UDGs without having to give up the benefits of Sinclair BASIC. In this crap game the idea is to create your own crap game for the Commodore 64. What could be easier?
CommentsGack! Spit! Sully my Speccy emulator with C64 bobbins, will you Mr Owen? You'll not win a single pack of Rolos from me for this travesty! I'm angry at the author of Colony for the very same reason, y'know!

Darklight: Tales Of Greyfell Inn
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameDLA.Z80
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThe game simulates one of those classic cock-ups where the wrong version is used as the master tape and chaos ensues.
CommentsLook at lovely loading screen? What were you thinking man! Now, badly digitised porn is one thing (see next game), but that must have taken ages to draw! I can't let stuff like that win or people will forever be thinking they can win me over with pretty eye-candy!

Mind you, at least the program seemed nice and buggy. Every time I pressed ENTER it changed my location for no reason at all. Lovely.


Janis Joplin Speech System II (I think)
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameJJD.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis is another attempt to revive the ancient tradition of submitting entries for CSSCGC which are not actually games. This is a sample demo for the 48K Spectrum.
CommentsWell, seeing as I can't get any sound out of my speakers at the moment it would be utterly unprofessional of me to review this program at this time. And yet...

Oh, actually, I thought it was just a sample of some bint singing but it's actually summat to do with writing music or something. Can't actually be bothered to investigate further, and besides the loading picture is far too good. No colour clash or anything. Draw some glasses on her or something, for God's sake!


Nazomi Invaders
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameNAZ.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionA kind of prequel to Nazomi Quest. I wrote it to test out the sprites. It's actually far to playable to win. Oh well.
CommentsTsk! I can't believe that anyone could think they'd win a CSSCGC prize from me if they went to the extreme of actually bothering to use machine code. Machine code is what proper programmers use, and therefor has no place in a competition that espouses the cause of crappy programming. Also, this cast-iron turd dates back from 1996 and so I'm somewhat offended that Andrew thought that of all the judges to date, I was the thickest and therefor most likely to let this unplayable travesty pass unnoticed. I'm half-tempted to not even include it in the csscgc2k.zip file...

Oh, and it's a dire varient on Space Invaders if you're at all interested.


Nazomi Quest
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameNQL.Z80
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionIronically, I never intended this game to be crap. I orginally designed 20 levels for it before I'd even heard of CSS but unfortunately I had a hard disk crash so this is all that's left.
CommentsGrrr! Not content with trying to pass off five year old shite, now he's trying with six year old shite! This isn't fine wine, Andrew. It doesn't suddenly get better if you shove it in a dark cellar for half a decade.

Mind you, it's actually quite a fun little platformer, and even the shoddy collision detection can't make it crap enough to qualify for the compo so bad luck, Andrew.


Plastic Ray Gun
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenamePRG.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis has no chance of winning as it's actually not completely crap. I wrote it as a rush job for the record label of the same name and it appears as track 2 on the Spectrum EP. You'll have to figure it out for yourself.
CommentsBah! This is just the same as Nazomi Invaders with a wider screen and enemies that shoot! As such I shan't waste any more of my precious words on it in this review.

Okay, maybe one more.

SHITE!


Riptoff 2
AuthorAndrew Owen (levels), Rick O'Neill (programming)
FilenameRIPTOFF2.Z80
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionJust a quick note. I played the new levels (well the first half) last nightand really like what I've seen.If you don't mind me saying, you are a bit of an evil bugger, aren't you??Bloody NAZOMITRON.
CommentsAnother year, another iteration of Riptoff, eh? Why this keeps on getting entered I've no idea as it's always been a far too good product to qualify, in my humble opinion. This latest one is no exception either, with 15 exceedingly well designed levels (well, I'm assuming they're well designed, d'you really think I give that much of a shit about this compo to actually bother *playing* the entries?) and a lovely little tune on the menu.

Dis-qualified!


SK Print
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameSK3.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis is my attempt to revive the ancient tradition of submitting entries for CSSCGC which are not actually games although I doubt anyone will actually find it useful.SK Print(TM) FAQ:1: WHAT IS IT?One of the many annoying things about the Spectrum was that it could not print the full ASCII character set. Until now.
CommentsWell blow me if this isn't a genuinely useful program! What the hell is it doing here? Basically, as far as I can tell by looking at the readme file this allows you to use the whole ASCII character set on the Speccy. Now, for me this is of very little consequence but had this been on the front of YS at some point in the late 80's I'm willing to bet at least one balding pillock would have wet his pants in excitement.

Anyway, it's not a game and the somewhat technical instructions have made me feel very inferior so it's not winning.


Expensive Demo, The
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameTXD.SNA
Year2000
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThe X-pensive Demo V2.0Another non-game entry which I've included because a) I'm proud of it, and b) it's not on www.demo.eu.org.
CommentsLOOK AT THE LOVELY SCREEN! It's beautiful! How can I possibly class this as anything other than an artistic masterpiece after seeing such fantastic use of the Speccy palette?

Music's effing awful, though. That Mark Alexander should be slapped with a kipper for ruining one of Rob Hubbard's tunes so decisively.


AOwen Utility Pack
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filenameif2.zip TrueFont.zip bmp2scr.zip raw2scr.zip cards.zip composer.zip
Year2001
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsWell. I don't like rejecting entries even if they were written five or six years ago, aren't games, aren't crap, and are too esoteric for most people to be able to understand, let alone find a use for. Pat on the back to Andrew for the effort and technical achievement and all that, but that's not what the CSSCGC is about. Let these entries remain here as a warning to us all!

if2.zip: this one might actually be a game but I haven't gotten it to work yet, being submitted in the form of an Interface 2 ROM. Well, points for originality of format if not usability.


Magical Musical Mystery Screen
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filenamemmm.scr mmm.z80
Year2001
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsSubmitted simply as a .scr (speccy loading screen only, for the viewers at home -- follow the instructions on the screen itself) this proggy is up there in the 'cute' ratings. Sadly 'cute' does not equate to 'crap', unless we're talking about Pokemon which we're not. Though I'd like to.

Outrun - M25 Edition
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filenamem25.tzx
Year2007
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThe latest in the Outrun series is a fast'n'furious race around the "road to nowhere". Dodge past traffic cones and the inevitable six car pile-up near Heathrow! Ram the barrier at Dartford! Oh, and don't forget to slow down for those pesky speed cameras...
CommentsOr, Outrun:M25 Edition, to give it it's full title. From what we've seen so far, it's pretty realistic, and definitely recreates driving on the M25. The only missing option is that of bibbing your horn, really (oo-er). It's also the only game here to sensibly come with a health warning, which the author insists you read first. This can only score it more points, as far as we're concerned. Which is more than it deserves.

16K Spectrum Emulator
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filename16KSpecEm.zip
Year2008
Position118
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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DescriptionA first for this year's compo, Andrew elected to provide his submission in plain text format. Does this now mean I should edit the rules page again to specify this mode of entry is also permitted? No need really, I'll just note here that it certainly is. Well, for BASIC programs anyway, since I usually have BASin to hand. For machine code programs - I guess an assembly listing would be fine. I'm not sure if I'd want to be sent 48K of binary digits though!

To save some time for you CGC fans, I've also converted the program into a playable sna file, which I had to make anyway for the arcade page. It's also included in the download.

The program itself thoughtfully POKEs the UDG sysvar and sets upper 32K to $FF as if disconnected to give a most authentic 16K experience to those 48K owners who feel they may otherwise be missing out.

The option to skip the setting of the upper 32K may certainly be appreciated by those who like to do their speccy emulation whilst on the move.

Andrew also draws our attention to the built in progress bar and the fact that the character bitmaps are actually copied from the ROM to where they should be in RAM on a 16K machine. The end result is that the lower 16K of RAM is indistinguishable from a true 16K spectrum.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone develops a program (with UDGs even) to showcase the full potential of this environment. Seriously, this entry could theoretically be useful (oops) as I don't think QAOP has a true 16K mode!

CommentsMakes your 48K system appear identical to 16K one such that a 16K snapshot taken from the resultant emulated system is indistinguishable from a real 16K spectrum. Only two slight snags:- (1) the filling of the high 32K with $FF to emulate no attached RAM truly takes ages. (2) you can still POKE the high 32K and PEEK it back again betraying the presence of real RAM there. Still, in practise these things tend not to effect the operation of 16K software at all (and the filling can be bypassed anyway). This one is actually potentially useful since we could use it to run a 16K game with hard-wired UDG addresses in the 48K QOAP emulator - if we really wanted to. Not a game of course, but that doesn't seem to be important to anyone anymore. Anyway, it seemed to fit into a nice gap here in the lower rankings of the compo due to its theoretical usefulness.

Advanced Disappointment Simulator
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filenameads.tap
Year2008
Position101
FormatZX Spectrum 16K
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DescriptionI now present: the final title in the compo - submitted merely one minute before the deadline! This one gives us one more quick gag before the curtain comes down on CSSCGC 2008.

Again, I won't give it away by posting an in-game screenshot, so you'll have to load it up, perhaps in the crap game arcade to find out what it actually does.

It is interesting to see how a BASIC program using the BORDER command can simulate the look and feel of the machine code ROM LOAD routine quite well (that is the stage before any data is actually loaded). If I'd have known how to do this when I was 15, then the potential for pranks at my friends house would have been amazing!

This one is not exactly going to keep you occupied for hours, but perhaps if it was on a Cascade 50 type compilation tape, then more people would be induced into buying it and become ultimately dissappointed!

So fire it up anyway and indulge just a few more moments with the last game of the compo!

CommentsThis game is scored as follows: 2.33 for the game idea. 3.0 for the really cool BORDER statements that?make?it look as if something is about to load up!?Now the compo is over, it is no spoiler to say simply what this game does. Namely it?pretends to load up a?ZX Spectrum port of the latter-day popular game GTA 4 but immediately fails with a tape loading?error. Hence the?eponymous disappointment. But I was asking myself, would I really be that disappointed if it didn't load? What form could the game possibly take given the limited hardware of the speccy. I wouldn't want to think what the frame-rate would be like and even if there was a controversial hot coffee type mod available, would it be worth it? As punishment for this, aowen should write GTA 4 - the text adventure next year and increase the disappointment at least sevenfold! For the history books, it's probably worth a mention that this title was submitted merely one minute before the end of CSSCGC 2008. Verdict: Slightly disappointing it may be, but we crave disappointment by the bucketload!

ColorPRINT
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameColorPRINT.zip
Year2008
Position70
FormatTimex TC2048 & Spectrum SE
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DescriptionWhat we have here is not so much a crap game, but more of a technically impressive utility. This is CSSCGC 2008 and we are open to submissions that are a little different - besides it is a most interesting entry. It could perhaps encourage further CGC entries for the Timex TC2048 or Spectrum SE.

I loaded this one up under the EightyOne Emulator version 1.0, and selected model Timex TC2048. It worked perfectly under that set-up.

You will find comprehensive instructions included in the downloadable zipfile, but to summarise, this program lets you print multicolor text as shown on the left. You can print to the color stream using commands like PRINT AT y,x; #4; my text;

Note also that all characters sent to channel #4 must be terminated with a ';' or you get some strange behaviour.

Not only can you redefine all 256 characters, but you can also define the attributes of each row of each character too. Again, I highly recommend reading the supplied readme.txt file for full instructions and to see the reconfigured ZX memory map.

This is the first entry targeted at the Spectrum SE features as far as I know. It's also nice to get another entry that uses the Timex extra features too.

CommentsHmm.. The American spelling prevails, as of course the Timex was an American derivate of the Speccy. Yes, and we all know that in England of a few centuries ago, color was also used too by 50% of the people, 50% of the time. Then they all got on a big boat, sailed to America and left us colour spelling individuals behind. Anyhow, look at the lovely colours on this erstwhile Commodore killing machine that never did become a commercial success. Play around with the ATTR bytes and the UDGs as much as you like and then set the telly up for an unsuspecting Birthday greeting for a family member. No-one has yet written an editor for this one yet although it needs it.

Garage BEEP
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameGarageBEEP_v1.z80
Year2008
Position108
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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DescriptionWelcome to a fully fledged music editor for the standard BEEPER equipped speccy! And there's me thinking it was usually an Atari ST tucked up next to a musician's keyboards? Not necessarily so! Colourful and professional looking graphics are the order of the day and the whole thing has a rounded corner style about it.

I entered a few notes and then repeatedly pressed the '3' key in order to scroll the note cursor back to the beginning of my tune. I then played the notes with the 'b' key. The BEEPer hardware has a huge octave range and a look at the length of the virtual keyboard at the tpo of the screen illustrates this rather well.

Andrew writes:-here's version one of GarageBEEP. Everything works. You can use it to create a data array for playbackin your own BASIC program. Most of the keys are on-screen. But you canalso use B to play the current note and SPACE to save the array.

LOAD with LOAD DATA t()

Playback is done via:

BEEP 240/(tempo*t(2,note)),t(1,note)

where tempo is the number of BPM and note is the note (1-1024)

The editor is too slow to be easily useable, even with emulation speed turned up. Consider it a proof of concept. It can't do rests either.:)

CommentsThis one looks great and the graphics are in no way crap. In fact you are starting to think it is something like CUBASE and ask yourself, where do I insert the dongle? The answer is probably in your ear if you listen to some of the crap I came up with whilst messing around with this one. It is very slow as Andrew acknowledges (good-oh!) So it's probably a case of all fair coat and no knickers as when Mrs Hubbard the cupboard labelled Machine Code, it in fact contained BASIC. Getting near the end of the judging for me now and so I ask myself have I lost the plot yet? Mr Bimble replies No you haven't.
Verdict: Looks good, feature packed and could be useful to game designers. Not actually that crap!
Stop the press: Andrew has released a non-crap much further developed version with more machine code in it. This is very good and Mister BEEP produced an outstanding tune with it. Naturally, my judgement is solely of the earlier CSSCGC 2008 crap version.

Hunchback '08
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filenamehb8.z80
Year2008
Position26
FormatTimex TC2048 & Spectrum SE
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DescriptionAndrew writes:-

Hi,

As promised, and to mark the 25th Anniversary of the Timex screen mode, I'm submitting:

HunchBack '08

to the CSSCGC.

This was originally written by me in 1984 when I was off sick from school. Clearly I was very ill. Enter to START, Q=LEFT, P=RIGHT, SPACE=JUMP. Previously entered as HunchBack '84 in CSSCGC99 for the Spectrum 48K. This one requires a Timex TC2048. No idea if it works on any emulators besides FUSE but it should work on anything that emulates a TC2048.

Cheers!

-Andrew

CommentsAhh, the CGC '99 - a vintage year. The original version of this game was developed for that one. We are now of course all a little older, a little wiser - but a damn sight more colo(u)rful. As The Who might have sung - hope I die before I use per-line?colour attributes. But not in this case?as the intro screen will surely blow your tights?off. The game itself is a typical hunchback affair, yet no worse than a similar Dragon 32 cartridge a firend of mine once paid good money for. Enjoy this all ye followers of the Timex- for this is your reward for possessing extra graphics capabilities. The reason, no-one else out there wrote anything else for it - apart from some BASIC extensions. (Although, seriously, I bet they did, but I don't know of it - I never did spy through the keyhole of the Timex scene)

Improved Advanced 16K Spectrum Emulator
AuthorAndrew Owen, Dr BEEP & James Smith
FilenameImpAdv16KSpecEm.zip
Year2008
Position25
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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Description*Updated 20/09/08* - James Smith and Dr BEEP have further improved Andrew's program, leading to this version finally posted by Dr BEEP. It assembles to a mere 12 bytes - that's an average of 4 bytes each for Andrew, DR BEEP and James Smith.

Following on from the above entry, we now have the Power Users version of 16K Spectrum Emulator written in 100% pure assembly language. It's probably about a million times faster than the previous version, so that's a nice speed improvement. You can either download this entry as usual or copy'n'paste from here:-

; Advanced 16K Spectrum Emulator
; Copyright 2008 Andrew Owen, Dr BEEP & James Smith

org $nnFD
dump $nnFD

start equ loop+2

loop jp p,$11cb
defb 0,0 ; Initially LD DE,0 then just 2x NOP
di
ld a,c
ld (de),a
dec de
and d
jr loop

At 21 12 bytes when assembled, you may be interested to know that this is so far the shortest entry submitted to CSSCGC 2008.

CommentsThis little known deep underground coding triumvirate (a.ka. Tres Hombres) have done it again, sneaking this 12-byter out onto an unsuspecting compo spectatorship. In fact, if you can excuse the difficulty I was faced with on writing an entire paragraph on a twelve byte piece of code, I don't really have anything additional to say about this one apart from it does exactly what the BASIC version does, is about a million times faster at filling high-memory and has been expertly byte crunched by our optimising friends. The machine code trick used is one for the books though - use the source, Luke. It is a little known fact, but the ultimate 2008 crap game experience can be had by using this program to step through all of the 16K games in the compo and find out which ones work under it yet had missing UDGs in 48K mode (not that I ever did this).

Mode2 Tile Editor
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenameMode2TileEditor.zip
Year2008
Position44
FormatTimex TC2048 & Spectrum SE
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DescriptionAah, how I welcomed Timex entries with open arms into CSSCGC 2008 and glad I did too. Clearly it has added another dimension to the compo this time around. I just love those pretty little colourful sprites that appear on the screen on loading this one up. Strangely, this reminded me of my days of using the STOS sprite editor on the Atari ST. This will no doubt be useful to people writing Timex games - I infer this by the number of times it was downloaded. My only disappointment is that no third parties took it upon themselves to employ this to submit yet another Timex entry, but I guess the number of Timex developers is but a tiny fraction of speccy developers and alas nothing happened. However, who knows if there will?ever be some sort of Timex Hunchback sequel? It was regrettable that this one could not be made available in the online "crap game arcade", due to current lack of a Java based Timex emulator. Anyways, thanks to this program, today I inverted a snake.
CommentsAndrew Writes:-

Here's the tile editor as promised. I've included the machine code source so that if anyone does actually use it they won't have to write the display routines from scratch, although they are really very crap (hint, hint).
I've included some tiles converted from NetHack. Here's the quick and dirty way to import tiles (not included in the text file):

Use BMP2SCR, RetroX alpha, Mac2Spec or whatever to convert two 256x192 24-bit screens to Timex mode-2 screens. The tiles should be in the lower two thirds. Open the editor. Go into storage mode. Load the first .SCR. Press B to switch bank. Load the second .scr. Press B to switch bank again. Presto - tiles imported. This will destroy the upper part of the display though. Press BREAK. Then RUN. The tiles are not displayed yet. Press T to get into storage. Then press X. Voila.

Cheers!


GarageBEEP2
AuthorAndrew Owen
FilenamegarageBEEP2.z80
Year2009
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionHmmm, I was sure I'd written in the rules that games this year had to be games... but apparently I didn't oh well. Whilst not being a game, this entry by Andrew Owen can still claim to be crap in that it's almost unusable without running your emulator at full speed! This looks to be a pretty handy utility for all the other crap game writers, and it even comes with an instantly recognisable demo tune! Strangely it wouldn't play any sounds in Spin, but was perfectly happy in fuse. The z80 snapshot is here

The instructions as e-mailed to me are:

All the keys are now self-evident, providing you have a round ENTER key and know exactly what I meant the icons to mean. Once you've SAVEd your tune you can LOAD it into your BASIC program with: LOAD "" DATA t()

Playback is done via: BEEP 240/(tempo*t(2,note)),t(1,note)

where tempo is the number of BPM and note is the note (1-1024)

If rests are required then you can test for notes with a period of zero and do a pause of the required length via: IF t(2,note)=0 THEN PAUSE rest

where rest is the length of rest, e.g. 240/(tempo*4) = quarter rest.
CommentsNo comments

Who is this an ASCII picture of
AuthorAndrew Owen
Filename1211010729clive80x24.zip
Year2012
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionHi,Here's my entry. To play the game "who is this an ASCII picture of" you will require SE Basic IV. If you don't have it then you can delete the first line of the program, but that won't really help. 32x24 mode sucks.-chev
CommentsTrying to find Sebasic IV was already good challenge for me, so I tried to delete first line of the program then check the output. I think this makes this program's real purpose, as I try to figure out who it is in the ascii art, I remember my childhood memories of manually deciphering (with my eyes half closed) encoded adult channels on SAT. I never managed to figure out what's on that channels anyway, it was grey lines of ciphered pr0n.Same thing goes for 32x24 mode of Chev's program. In the end, I had to cheat and take a look at the supplied screenshot to find out that person is Sir Cl.. wait, you have to find it yourself!Low crap score because of technical achievement of 64 column mode.


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