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Author search: Apenao
| 200. Yes, 200 but with da big balls |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 200.TZX |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 35 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | Apenao has made a full advert and description of his game in this forum post which you should definitely read to find out what it is all about. I ask, is this a first for the CGC? What we have here is the ill-fated Megagame project now finally fully realised and you don't even need a dongle, but you could of course try sticking one in whilst playing this to see if anything happens. This is more than just a single game, being in fact a series of minigames to test the dexterity, strength, intelligence and guile of the player. Colourful hi-res graphics used throughout - you'll positively drool over the trees at Thermopylae. Features a segmented BEEP tune on main menu which cunningly sounds exactly a flattened fifth out of tune, perhaps even in homage to the late Douglas Adams (or not). |
| Comments | I like these little mini-game submissions, because if you dislike one of the mini games then you can always move onto the next one and dislike that one too! This title has the restriction that you can only get into the later mini-games, having earned it by playing the earlier ones first. Crickey, I must watch 300 at some point although I've had it in my film collection for ages I haven't got around to watching it just yet. I have to say though that some time and effort has clearly gone into making this game, for which the CGC is grateful. Also I like the way each mini game is coloured differently (And quite colourful they are too) and there are some nicely done UDG graphics. Yet, the game is steadfastly loyal to the realm of crapdom. So pat yourself on the back Apenao - a pretty good score. |
| Un-Space Invaders |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | unspace.tzx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 24 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | This is an interesting twist on the usual Space Invaders genre. Your goal is actually to save the invading alien civilisation from destruction by humans. The loading screen is reminiscent of a secret dossier smuggled out of Area 51, as commonly seen in the X-files. According to the author, there are three different possible endings to the game, depending on the decisions you may take. The first decision is whether or not to redefine the keys. I recommend that you do this even if you want to keep the default QAOP layout. The reason is that the "define new keys" option in itself gives vital clues as to the operations of your ship. I somehow managed a feeble score of minus 20 just trying to grab the screenshot. The screenshot required precise timing to grab because the game contains a near flawless textbook example of a "crap game" graphics routine, and should be studied carefully by budding crap game authors everywhere. |
| Comments | Quite a respectable crapness rating for this one. The player is initially left confused as to what to do apart from moving aimlessly around the screen in the midst of the ongoing interplanetary battle and the frame rate is suitably low for an invaders game written in BASIC. What really pushed this game up the scoreboard though is the graphic routine which only allows you to see the alien sprites for about half the time, as they are rubbed out during the other half. Well done! Nice "alternative" game concept also. At least the UDGs are finely detailed and gleefully colourful. |
| Game of the Yet to come |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | yettocome.tzx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 51 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 16K |
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| Description | Do you have a crystal ball available? No, you say? Why not, say I? Never mind, you don't actually need one because a slice of the future is about to be presented to you here and now! Having recently watched the sci-fi classics "Shape of Things to Come" and "Back to the Future Part II", I was now certainly well prepared for this title. Is this game more accurate than those films? Well, just about the only thing "BTTF PT.2" got right was the mass disposal of obsolete optical disk based media by 2015 (alleyway scene). I won't give too much away about this game though, providing only a glimpse of the mystical loading screen on this page. Suffice it to say that its predictions of the future would not be out of place in the BTTF timeline known as "1985-A" (the violent timeline that is!). It is my duty to point out that CSSCGC 2008 cannot be held responsible for any injuries that may occur during the playing of this title. Perhaps the author is a "Three Stooges" fan? In any case, I was warned by Apenao that if I like this title then I must be ill. I'm probably somewhat ill (no secret about that) - but I do like this title, because it's the only one I've seen so far (or can remember) that features the word "CRICKET" in it. You impressed me with that Apenao, hehe! |
| Comments | Excellent! Spooky loading screen sets the tone for what I think is going to be some really mysterious "Twilight Zone" style capers. Imagine the hilarity that ensues as this game is really a set of instructions in how to assault your opponent in traditional slapstick style. Multiplayer only unless you are some sort of masochist who likes to apply pain to themselves. Actually, you are interested in the CGC and are reading this. Therefore you must be a masochist! Joyous overuse of the FLASH attribute and vivid colours makes the text-jumbled screens enough to give anyone a headache, but that's nothing compared to the headache you'll get if you actually play it as "player 2". |
| Advanced Rampant Voting Abuse Simulator: Russia Attack! |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 02-Rampant/ARVAS10.TZX |
| Year | 2010 |
| Position | 26 |
| Format | 48K |
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| Description | No description |
| Comments | Oh, how badly did Apenao want to get the first entry into this year's competition? Missing it by less than 90 minutes must have been a blow below the belt after his hectic morning running around like a lunatic trying to get his game together to be bombed by bird poo (you can read it here for yourself!)
Well as far as crap is concerned, this game is in the ballpark. This is clearly one of those games where a massively disproportionate amount of time was spent designing a decent loading screen followed by an equally satisfying 'start game' animation that no time was left to improve the game itself. Once the game starts, there ends all hint of graphical eye candy as you freefall back into a standard speccy black on white screen. Even the emulated spectrum font fails to impress!
It takes a while to work out what the objective of the game is, not least because the game is quite happy to run along all by itself without any interaction from yourself! Selecting games using the number keys (followed by a entering a score) appears to have little on the overall game position, particularly since the game you select is no bearing on the one that gets selected.
I was impressed for all of 3.7 seconds to see that other people are voting along with me, right up to the point when I realised by humble spectrum isn't networked to the internet. I assume the 'others' must be using some kind of spectrum mind control to manipulate the game.
A score system was hastily added in by the author at the last minute to give it a level of authenticity. Personally, my pet cat Clive keeps better score.
Not bad job at confusing the player and would have had good 'load once then bin it' factor if it wasn't for the nice loading graphics and start anim. Must try harder Apenao! |
| Apenao's Avatar: Enter the World |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 07-AVATAR/AVATAR.TZX |
| Year | 2010 |
| Position | 38 |
| Format | 48K |
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| Description | No description |
| Comments | Wow! Apenao has teamed up with James Cameron to present us with the award-winning tie-in game. I invite you to read the most interesting Background and Instructions as wrote by Apenao all by himself.
Graphics are fantastic on account of their masked graphics (apparently; 11 of them; at the same time; simultaneously) and shiny loading screen.
Comical contacts from the Blue People (If you ever wondered where the Smurfs came from them this game just might give you the answer) and the Invaders (e.g. us). If you don't speak the lingo then you obviously didn't read the book (which I myself did, obviously!) and so you deserve to lose.
The  and  prizes were awarded to this game. Presumably the latter is awarded to games whose authors have recent been bombed by a seagull on their way to work. If you are looking for the same 3D effect that you get at the cinema then make sure you put those funny polarised glasses before playing then game. If you don't have any then don't worry, the 3D effect works just as well without.
Brilliant game but it does beg the question: What part of "Crap" does Apenao not understand in the phrase "Crap Game Competition"?
And before you ask. No, I didn't receive a $1,000,000 backhander from Apenao and his dogsbody Cameron! |
| John Terry's Quest for the Golden Bra |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 09-JTQFTGB/JTQFTGB.tzx |
| Year | 2010 |
| Position | 31 |
| Format | 48K |
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| Description | No description |
| Comments | If the recent escapades of England's Captain, Mr. John George Terry has passed you by then this game might be a bit confusing. If you are in the know then be prepared to be confused anyway!
Apenao's third crap game entry this year sees you playing the role of John Terry in his next Premier League game. You need to fight off your fellow football mates as you try to score a hat-trick with their girlfriends while they are looking the other way.
Once again, the objective of the game is a little vague and the use of the M key to scroll through various options at the bottom of the screen appear a bit pointless. Luckily, that is fully in line with the game in general.
If John Terry's Quest for the Golden Bra looks to you a little familiar then it might be because you have already played Avatar. Following in the footsteps the mighty Stampers and the Oliver Twins, Apenao is using the enterprising tactic of tweaking an existing game release with a slap of paint and a new storey line and releasing it as a whole new game. Unfortunately for Apenao, he will not be expecting queues of fans parting with their hard earned cash to grab a copy of his latest release.
Apenao may have to freshen up on his football rules 'cos he states that the game features "full implementation of the Football rules (i.e. if you collect balls, you get more time, etc)". Now I am no football freak but at least I know what the offside rule is.
This time we see Apenao push the bounds of the Spectrum even further by animating 21 (yes 21!) masked sprites simultaneously. That is 10 more than what we saw in Avatar. This does come at a price that the frame rate is generally slowing down to a crawl. Worse still, and a must in any decent crap game, the key press lag is quite severe. You have to stop moving one frame before you actually WANT to stop otherwise you will fly past your target. |
| Colour Clash of the Titans |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 15-Colour-CotT/COLCLASH.TZX |
| Year | 2010 |
| Position | 22 |
| Format | 48K |
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| Description | No description |
| Comments | Clash of the Titans? Colour Clash? Get it, eh? Apeneo really treats us with a play on words here. It does get better though.
To start, the game play: After selecting which character you wish to play (choosing will determine attributes such as speed, stamina, shooting speed etc.) you are entered into a duel with your rival. You move about the play area shooting your arrow, lightning bolt or whatever (couldn't work out what Hades or Maciste use!) whilst avoiding your rival's shots by jumping up and down. Damage to your stamina-o-meter is reduced when in contact with your rivals shots.
First the good points: CCotT has some fantastic qualities that should have it immediately and dishonourably booted out of the crap game compo. From the opening menu screen, colour fills your screen (non-clashing I must add). You can select lots of options which brings me onto the next set of good points...
- How many crap games include a one or two player option and has decent AI for the one player version?
- How many crap games include a selection of four different characters (very Gauntlet/Atic Atac)?
- How many crap games include a variety of backdrop scenes (very IK+)?
- And still it gets better: How many crap games include a working demo mode (very... well you insert a game name here - why should I do all the work!)?
You get the point.
Nice touches indeed but to be fair, the game isn't perfect. There are a few failings.
Firstly, the backdrop (as per the game name suggests) clashes incredibly with the players and bullets, both in their XOR style drawing, flickering sprites and the fact that the colours in the backdrop take priority over the sprites. This brings a whole new angle to the difficulty of the game which trying to avoid Hades' "Attack of the Mutant Telephones" telephones.
Second, you can't actually shoot unless s you are pressing a directional key. Sloppy programming? Feature? You decide. Next, if you let the game go into the Demo, you cannot actually then play a game! Lastly, whether you win or lose, it is back to the main menu, no level ups here I'm afraid.
With the lack of title music, there isn't a lot else you can knock on this game. As such, like all of Apeneo's games, he is heading straight for the hosting of CSSCGC 2011! |
| Steroids Sports Diving: Splash |
| Author | Apenao |  |
| Filename | 0628182038steroidsdiving.zip |
| Year | 2012 |
| Position | No ranking |
| Format | 48K |
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| Description | Incredible precise sports simulator. Put yourself into the skin of a muscleman participating in the London Olimpics 2012 in the diving competition.Watch carefully the Stadium scoreboard to imitate the required movements for extra points!Keys are:O-Roll leftP-Roll rightQ-Move right armE-Move left armZ-Move right legC-Move left legW-GesticulateTry to roll as much as you can for extra points!Try to dive the closer to the swimming pool centre as possible for extra points!Try to send the author 9,99$ via paypal for extra points!Enjoy! |
| Comments | OK, I rolled a thousand times (really fast game it is), and I somehow managed to dive very centre of the pool, I even send the $9.99 to author, but again I just scored 7. The witch with pink hair always gave me a 7, whatever I do, I think she just hates me.I am surprised because apenao almost got it this time. Very playable game apart from needlessly fast responsive controls. The game is already hard, you try to match the figure shown at the table, while falling down(diving) to the pool. It\'s crapness score is a bit low, because game is ultra-responsive, graphics are nice and animations are surprising.I\'ll watch this entry for sweet bellas, I\'m sure it\'ll get many mixed feelings. |
Matched 14 records out of 1017 currently indexed.
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