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Author search: Cream147

Sudoku Helper
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DescriptionNot a game but at least it's crappy
Comments Cream147 stated in his email to me that this break rule 2 of the competition (?Entries must be shockingly crap?).  He then amazingly goes on with an unapologetic epistle about the so called features.  I do feel Cream has an over-inflated opinion of this little tool but why not fire it up and try for yourself?

Just launching this program from the z80 snapshot requires a certain level of Spectrum skills from the user.  It is a 128K Snapshot taken from the Spectrum?s main menu.  You have to navigate down to 128 BASIC, press ENTER and then type RUN before you can even start it.  Don?t even think of going into the Tape Loader ? it won?t load ? it?s a snapshot! This painful start does smell of crap genius as it tops having to type RUN from 48K basic, especially as I cannot see any 128K features in this pile of bull poo!

After a disappointing sequence of splash screens you are presented with a menu of 7 items.  Each item should be explored in depth to see how short of the mark this program is to a Sudoku Helper.  More blatant self-advertising adorns option 7.  Option 6 on occasion inexplicitly runs option 1.

Option 5 is a case of was-never-gonna-work-was-it: going on-line using WiFi.  It does however feature what must be the longest BEEP command in all history of crap Spectrum programming.

Options 1-3 provide the central part of the program but all fail miserably.  The actual ultimate Sudoku Helper (Option 1) asks just one question about your puzzle before providing you a useless hint.  Option 2 allows you to ?Test Your Skillz?.  Trust me ? don?t bother.  Finally Option3 provides a series of Mini Games which are surreal at best and require a broad imagination to see what their relevance is to Sudoku.

So there you have it.  If malware existed in the 80?s, this would be a textbook example.

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