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Phrase search: ultimate-first-communion-simulator

Ultimate First Communion Simulator
AuthorMojon Twins
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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Descriptionna_th_an tells me:- "Your goal is gain salvation. First walk in line to the church, trying to keep in line without crashing with your front or back pal. Then take communion from Mr. Parkinson pressing SPACE at time. And then, the longest gameplay in history! more than 67 years of gameplay, avoiding falling in the temptation of pressing SPACE to sin... If you manage to do that, you'll go to heaven. :D"
CommentsThe winner of CSSCGC 2008 is a game that is fantastically crap! With vivid, colourful and detailed block graphics and gameplay and plot that just ooze originality. It's got a pretty wicked streak of humour too which caused much hilarity when played with office workmates. But, what makes it hilarious for me is the final message at what you think is the end of the game, telling the player that they are still in the game for another 67 years. In effect I am still playing it now! It has also unsurprisingly been reviewed by SnakeOilSteve in one of the earlier CSSCGC 2008 tape magazines.

He had such a big head that if he were a cat he would have to toss the mice from under the bed with a brow
AuthorThe Mojon Twins
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Visit this game's wiki page for player comments, docs, discussion etc
DescriptionHilariously amusing game with a protagonist with the oddest head in spectrum history
Comments Could we have just stumbled upon the game with the longest title of the 80's computing era?  The Title says it all and it doesn't disappoint.  And so it shouldn't, it comes from the same people who brought you "Ultimate First Communion Simulator" (one of my all time favourite crap games for comedy value alone).

So you have mastered the Abandoned Uranium Workings, aced level 90 of Chuckie Egg, Booted the backside of Booty but have you been able to do so with a melon that is 18 feet (5.49m to the Europeans) wide?  I am sure this game will be a classic!

Graphics are very colourful, if not a little blocky.  I suppose you could say the same about the sfx also.  Animation is basic but game play is very addictive - and why not when you have 20+ screens to work through.  In a similar vein to Manic Miner, some screens have special "nasties", such as the Lair of the Serpent Duchess.  Other nice features include the in-game scrolly, and the amusing way you can get your bonce trapped between two rocks and have your legs dangling.  Still at least you can use your chin (presumably) to move left and right if you find your legs out of action!!!  Suicide is sometimes the only way out but even that is not without humour.

This game might not "win" the comp but will certainly win awards in the wierdness department.

Check out the readme but I do recommend trying to find out the passwords yourself; it isn't as difficult as it first seems.  Source code included.

Finally, if your Spanish is up to it, then read about their game on the Mojon Twins Blog.

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