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Year search: 2005
Judge: Starglider [Official Site]

A-Team, The
AuthorQuique Llaría
Filenamea-team.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsRight off the bat, I have to say this: People, lose the fancy loading screens! It loses you points for effort! Mind you, the colours on the faces do make it fairly amusing, so not the end of the world here. Then onto the game...

Well, for a start I was worried. There was the whole opening speech, written in proper english, with no spelling mistakes, and presented fairly well. Not a good start. And then the title, with imitation gun shots and *drawn* logo! No! Getting worse, it's almost impressive! But all was saved when the theme tune played. It was like the author started off well, then got bored and could be bothered to find the right notes for the last third of the tune. Great stuff!

The game starts after a little intro animation. Again, a point had to be lost for being fairly accurate, if all done with UDG's (note to author, since when has an episode of the A-Team had the "hoods" beat up the poor victim with two bats so much that they ended up as a bloody mess on the floor???).

The game though is quite well presented. The controls are responsive, the whole score/info part of the screen is nice, and extra effort was made to give the impression of a moving road with a cunning flashing border trick on the side of the roads. Deary me. There's even quite acceptable collision detection too.

In total, a crap score of 4/10.


Al Toro!
Authorna_th_an
FilenameAlToro.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionI liked this one, on a purely crap level. The graphics have had a lot of time spent on them - the bull actually looks like one, the poor bloke you're going to have gored to death looks like a ... well, a bloke who's gonna get gored, and there's nice textures for the sky and arena. Poor sound, like it's been added as an after thought. As was the gameplay.

It's dire. You can see what the author wanted to achieve (Aside from having a dig at bullfighting - I don't see the problem personally, if people want to die by bull horns, you should let them. Oh, is that not the point?) but the game itself is very poorly executed. Unlike your main character. Obviously the author is quite talented, at least in the ideas department. However, his execution stinks. Plus there's got to be some machine code in there. Anyway, this one is a good example of a crap game - nice idea, nice presentation, absolutely no game. 7/10!

CommentsSince I am reviewing all the games in alphabetical order, this was the first game under fire, and straight away points were lost for fancy bold text, choice of keyboard or joystick and FANCY GRAPHICS!!! Has the art of crap programming tricks, poorly executed UDG art and lack of programming talents been lost?

Things look up when you play the game. I have always been a sinclair joystick keyboard fanboy, so seeing the ability to use 67890 for my controls were a good start. But then select one of the options and press fire? Repeated pressing of the number "0" resulted in nothing, and only after pressing space resulted in playing. Nice!

But again, nice background graphics? Actual fairly fast gameplay? Points lost there too. I actually could score respectably once I knew what to do.

All in all, I'd have to give this a crap score of 4/10.


Advanced Sea Simulator
AuthorQuique Llaría
Filenameass.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
Format128K Spectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsOnly for Spectrum 128k!. Good start. If this was a real release, the author would've wiped out more than half of his potential audience right there. But then nothing. An "OK" message at the bottom and that was all. I listed the program. Yup, just 3 lines, so I ran it again. But this time I got the full effect - I CAN HEAR THE SEA!

The fundamental problem with this one is two-fold though; it actually works, and it isn't a game. So serious points are lost here.

A very poor 1/10 for this effort.


Attrishoot
AuthorWayne Marsh
Filenameattrishoot.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsI lost two lives before I even knew what I was supposed to be doing. Since I couldn't break into the game, and there was no instructions or anything, I was lost. Nice!

The premise is simple, press SPACE to shoot your gun to hit the block moving side to side before it moves low enough down the screen to hit the image on-screen. Simple!

Even though it *is* a crap game, I did find myself wanting to get further in (I got to the pyramid screen - number 4 I think), so there are some gameplay issues there - as in there is a little.

Other than that, quite terrible. A deserved 6/10 for this!


Bargain Buckets
AuthorAllen Doe
Filenameb-buckets.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsProbably better with 3 people at the controls! the main screen informs me. And the author's right. This game is physically impossible without three. Oh yes, you can try, you may get lucky, but in the end, your energy drops ever so steadily when playing alone.

At the time of reviewing, there were two people handy to help me out with this. Firstly the main problem was getting three people to be able to reach the controls. They are stacked right above each other, so it becomes a tangle of fingers.

Programming wise, there has been effort made, which loses a couple of points. You can indeed have three totally independant movements from your buckets with no loss of control on anyone. The collision detection is terrible though. Your bucket has to be in precisely the right place to catch a droplet.

This game is crap, for all the right reasons. 7/10


B-Mup
AuthorAllen Doe
FilenameB-Mup.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsAgain, fancy loading screen=no extra points. Still it does look like the guy on the right would shortly make seriously painful contact with the guy on the left's knackers!

Another fancy ingame screen detracts for only so long the incredibly easy beat-em-up game. If you simply move close enough and repeatedly hit either M or N you really can't lose! Because it is too easy, it becomes crap, and that's good in my book.

Still that aside, it was a game that really didn't bother me either way. So an average 5/10 for that.


Beachy Head Simulator
AuthorPaul J
FilenameBeachy.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsA simple premise; jump off Beachy Head. Although no controls were described, the average specchum could quickly work out the usual setup. Like the Sea Simulator game though, this loses serious points from actually working. And there's smooth animation in both moving *and* jumping!

So for that, this scores only a 5/10. It would've been worse, but the cliff drawing was quite funny, and I've yet to work out a way to actually score any points.


Beachy Head vs Advanced Sea Simulator
AuthorMatGubbins
Filenamebeachy2.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsThe game previous to this one I reviewed was Beachy Head Simulator, and I referenced the Sea Simulator in that review, so loading this one up afterwards did make me laugh quite loudly.

it's actually no different at all to BHS, but like the main title screen suggests, it's literally a MERGE of both games, so you now get the sounds of the sea while you plummet to your death.

For that, it gains a point. Still too much programming effort made on the animation, but trying to cash in by expanding on the "feel" of the location (and doing a Harry S. Price too with another game) is good. 6/10. I still can't work out how to score in it though.


George Best Deathbed Simulator, The
AuthorAlex Taylor
Filenamebest.zip
Year2005
Position1
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsThe title of this game alone made me spit out my drink in laughter. Score a point right there!

And I didn't stop laughing when I played the game too. It's a very accurate insight into the mind of George Best as he approaches the end of his life. Take medicine, or take a drink. Whatever you choose will be what the real George would've done. And I kept on laughing.

A very respectable 9/10 here. Nice use of the STOP statement too.


Block Blaster
AuthorAllen Doe
Filenameblockblaster.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsListen here, I'm not gonna add points for using a fancy loader for your game!!!

The game itself isn't too bad. No points gained there. Points are gained however for giving so little ammo, jerky animation and only okay key responses. I got to level three. I can guess that by level 5, the cavern is so tight that it becomes a very frustrating game, since you only get one life!

So given those gaming shortsights, this scores 5/10


Boo!
AuthorWayne Marsh
Filenameboo.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionA text adventure with a twist. Written in almost pure assembly, this is a colourful and frustratingly hard adventure. The ghost in question will kill you as soon as you do anything wrong, which is any input you care to make that the game's limited parser will understand. I played this for literally hours (or maybe not) before giving up and looking on the tipshop for tips... of which there are none, this being a new release.

Graphically, the game excels. On the title screen, there is a neat little logo and a lovely multicolour fade effect as you are launched into a world of intrigue, windows, cupboards and inevitably death. The scrolling is second to none, considering the popularity of being able to watch it scroll in *real time* that has surfaced these days.

Unfortunately, the game seems designed to make you fail - and as such succeeds mightily. Only the dodgy scrolling makes this even slightly crap.

This game gets a crap score of 2/10, as there's no real attempt been made at actually including a game.

CommentsThis game did make me chuckle, even if it was predictable. Why on earth would a ghost be called Minty??? Anyway, it is a quite well presented text adventure, but because of exactly that reason, it drops a point.

I'll give this 5/10.


Bus Shelter Destroyer
AuthorMichael McLarnon
FilenameBusShelterDestroyer.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis game has you as the usual bored child so often seen hanging around bus shelters (we've all been there, let's admit it) with nothing better to do than kick the crap out of it. And that's the plot. You have to destroy, by the skillful application of your boot, the bus shelter that keeps old ladies dry whilst waiting for the number 305 into town.

After a small introduction, a badly rendered bus shelter is displayed, and your kick strength cycles from 0 to 10 rapidly. Hitting "K" will stop the counter and deliver the kick. Although pretty much any strength will do (which accurately describes the construction quality of council bus shelters) you can hurt yourself if you don't apply sufficient force. Having destroyed the shelter, you then head off for a smoke and a quick chat with the many admiring "slags" around you.

As with so many CSSCGC entries, there's just no effort put in. You can't really do much other than succeed, and it would seem that the whole game is an excuse for poking fun at the kids that do this sort of thing. Not a high scorer, I'm afraid. 2/10.

CommentsA simple game that you can't lose, due to stupid programming! Ace! if the programmer had bothered to put line 410 before line 370, there would've been a rather boring game.

So this is a tricky one. Was it intentional, or was it deliberate? I'll have to average this one and give it a 6/10, because let's be honest, it's a pretty crap game either way!


Super Bust Out!
AuthorWilliam Hicks
Filenamebustout.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatZX81/TS1000
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DescriptionSuper Bust Out, the game of high speed TEXT based TURN based action!

Have you always looked in envy at all those great Breakout games available for other computers and wished you had one for your ZX81?

Well now you don't have to look any further! Super Bust Out is an exciting game of breakout for your ZX81 or TS1000!

CommentsCannot review yet as I have no ZX81 emulator

Cannonball, The
AuthorGrecu Cristian
FilenameCannonball.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsMade In Romania says the first screen, to a tune of what sounds like completely random notes. Since I know of no other romanian Spectrum programmers, I cannot judge whether this is from the cream of programming talent, or the worst. Still, it crashed the moment the game started in 128k mode.

But once I did get the game running, it's actually a quite playable game, with nice simple images and animation. If it was released in 1982, and for the the educational market, I wouldn't be surprised if I had seen it in schools.

So for that, it scores an incredibly low 1/10


Celebrity Credit Card Fraud Simulator
AuthorBen Rapier
FilenameCelebrityCreditCardFraudSimulator.z80
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionWhat can be more fun than lifting the bloated credit card from a top celebrity's handbag and making off for some materialistic purchases using someone else's bank account?

That's what this game offers, and it offers it well. At the outset, it oozes machine code quality, with varying font sizes depicting your current state. The input system involves a constantly counting "choice" from the options listed. Hitting any key selects the option currently chosen for you.

For your first few purchases, you'll be laughing all the way to bank as you rack up yachts, security guards and expensive trinkets. Unfortunately those in the fraud detection services are hot on your tail, and will catch up eventually. You need to rack up as many pounds worth of purchases as possible before they get to you.

And that usually happens within about 5 turns. There's no explanation as to the types of fraud you can safely commit, and as such you are left with a feeling that maybe the author didn't actually include any.

This game gets a crap score of 5/10, as there is a game and the author has obviously worked hard on it, but the lack of any discernible structure hampers playability somewhat.

CommentsThere's not much to say about this one at all. By saying that, it should score highly as a crap game, but there's the nagging feeling that too much effort has been made in presentation of the text onscreen, and that harms it badly.

The game itself is fairly straight forward. Choose a celebrity's credit card, and then spend as much as you can before getting arrested.

I cannot really see it as a crap game, nor good. I mean, I had more than one go, so it can't be that bad! 5/10


Dark Room Simulator 3D
AuthorHajo Spuunup
FilenameDarkRoomSimulator3D.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsThis is the sequel to Dark Room Simulator, but now in 3D - and it sure likes to boast about it. "100% Machine code" is impressively shown onscreen (A lie), and very fancy text fonts is used too. All this drops points for crapness!

the game itself is pointless, a saving grace. You still see absolutely nothing, except text adventure style descriptions of what's happening. Pressing the QAOP buttons results in you bumping into things you can't see, or the game warning you to watch out for a polygon - that you cannot also see.

For the slight originality in claiming it's in 3D is quite amusing, and I'll give this a crap score of 6/10


Deal or No Deal
AuthorChris Young
Filenamedeal.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsIt's Deal Or No Deal, the computer game version of the Noel Edmonds fronted show. And since I never watched that, I had no idea (at first) what to do. But once I got the hang of it...

...it's quite an addictive game! I got quite excited - well, as much as you can do with a CGC entry - when the boxes dwindled down and the high value boxes were still available.

But this means it's a good game! Poor, Poor effort! 2/10


Defusion
AuthorPaul E Collins
FilenameDefusion.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsDefuse the ticking bombs. Do as many as you can before the timer runs out. Simple really. And it plays well. but when you get to a bomb, the timer increasing in time only by a couple of seconds, and eventually, there's not enough time to actually get a bomb after approximately 25 of them (the exact number depends on how randomly close the next bombs are placed to you).

So for the game being quite responsive and simple to play, it drops points, but for the bastard timer, plus points!

Tricky, but I can give this only 5/10


Drinking Game Simulator
AuthorNiall Wallace
Filenamedrinkinggamesimulator.z80
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsTry to guess the *whatever* the computer is thinking of. get it wrong, you take a drink.

Election '05
AuthorChaosmongers
Filenameelect05.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionA game about the recent election has to be entertaining, yes? You'd not be wrong. Chaosmongers has taken the 5 yearly circus and turned it into a laugh a minute romp through the nastier side of tabloid reporting which in turn affects the results dramatically. No manifestos for these parties - it's sensation all the way.

Presentation sparkles all the way through, and a strange level of gameplay arises from the wheel of fortune screen when you realise that the same numbers results in the same behaviour from your party. Just got to try and hit that number 6 again... Flash border effects abound, with barely readable scrolly text and annoying sound effects to complete the package. Unfortunately, it's far too playable, despite the copouts with the scores at the end. It's accurate though, I've not seen Labour lose yet.

I'd give this one 5/10, as like Spot the Dot II it's quite a playable and addictive little game, and not nearly crap enough.

CommentsFirst thing you see is a terribly coloured loading screen of Maggie Thatcher, although the fact the loading screen is named "Hail Satan" made me chuckle.

Don't even bother trying to read the scrolly text once loaded, as it goes really too fast. Again, another nice touch.

In-game, it's been nicely presented, but the whole game is really a random chance of winning. I had a couple of goes, and the BNP party won first time, the Lib Dems the second, so it's not really accurate by any means!

I can only score this an average 5/10, because the good way it's been made. Multi-coloured border bars??? Come on!


Flight of the Condor Simulator
AuthorChris Thomson
FilenameFlight_of_the_Condor_Simulator05.tzx
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsThis game reminded me of
Game of Sand
AuthorDavid Mackenzie
Filenamegameofsand.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsGet the falling sand into the pit below, by selectively removing lines that get in the way.

ARGH! There are roughly 100 grains of sand onscreen, and they all move one at a time. That's slow enough, but since I waited for ages to be able to select or remove a line with no luck, it became boring beyond belief!

I almost lost the will to live, and that adds a point to the score! 7/10


Harry The Magical
AuthorCMG
Filenameharry_the_magical.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsErm...

Er...

What the hell do I do? I get the old style Zelda graphics, and the nice presentation, the pointless option to redefine the keys (which doesn't work). But I moved from one place to the next, twice managed to end up somewhere completely, getting completely stuck, and gave up after about 3 minutes.

Nice one! 7/10


Invade-o-Trons from Planet Q
AuthorPaul E Collins
FilenameInvadeo.tzx
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis is a BASIC port of the classic 70's smash, "Space Invaders". And what a mind-numbingly great port it is too. Everything is there - except for speed, bases, moving missiles and everything else that made the original the great aracde blaster that it is.

The keyboard response is like very slow lightning, and the invaders can kill you with a thought. It must be that, because there was no evidence of any firing on their behalf. The game follows in the great tradition of other ascii games like Nethack (but without the playability to hamper it), with everything rendered in the glorious sinclair character set we've come to know and love.

Bugs - there are none. Worth speaking of, that is, because the poor error 3 when the invaders hit the right hand edge of the screen isn't worth speaking of. Death is final unlike so many other games, as the Error B when the game over message cascades down the screen puts a neat "final" touch to your ineptitude.

All in all, a great game with a replay factor near that of a eurovision song. You'll be playing this until the cows come home, assuming you live in a field.

This game gets a crap score of 6/10 - the author has included a game it is (theoretically) possible to win, but obviously hasn't tested for bugs. Bugs do not make a crap game.

CommentsClaims to be the worst Space Invaders clone ever made, and I would be quite ready to agree. it even tells you that there is an error that occurs quite often.

BUT... it does play, and error aside, it is possible to play.

Still, it is an awful game! 6/10


JUMP! The Ultimate Platform Game
AuthorQuique Llaría
Filenamejump.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsStop with the good loading screens! It loses you points for effort! mind you, the terrible BEEPer version of the classic 80s song "Jump" made me laugh!

This game is well made! It's got nice graphics, and SHOCK HORROR! Sound effects! No no nooooo!

Point missed totally, and scores a pitiful crap score of 2/10


Kilroy's Caravan Capers
AuthorMichael McLarnon
FilenameKilroysCaravanCapers.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionAgain, we have an entry which has started off with the intention of being utter crap from the outset. The story has it that Robert Kilroy-Silk has woken up one morning to see Gypsies in his garden. He has to save his grounds from the evil travelling-folk in order to win the game.

You are asked how many caravans does Kilroy see... And then that number of caravans are displayed on screen in true BASIC DRAW and CIRCLE greatness. Unfortunately, choosing 1 caravan sometimes locks up the game in an endless loop, but that's only an intermittent bug and can be dismissed. The situation is then evaluated, and poor old Kilroy-Silk's status is displayed. As even one caravan is enough to kill him, the game gets tiring very quickly. There's no game to speak of, and the sum total of your input is choosing the number of caravans.

This had the potential to be reasonably good (in a crap sense) had the author not succumbed to the temptation that befalls nearly all crap game authors - to start with the intention of creating a crap game.

Because of this, he gets 1/10 crap points, as it doesn't even match up to the level of gameplay found in other "intentionally crap" games.

CommentsI played this game twice, didn't get it, then broke into the basic listing to find out the point... there isn't one! You tell the game how many gypsy caravans Kilroy sees, and then the game draws some caravans and then says the Kilroy died!

Erm...

5/10 - fairly average effort!


Ladron
AuthorGuillermo Castarés
Filenameladron.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsFirst up, it's not in english, which added a small challenge to work out the main menu. It wasn't too hard for the hardcore speccy fan, so I worked out quite easily what was "define keys" and "start game".

I don't get the idea of the game, but it so clearly loses, because it's an isometric 3D game - IN BASIC! And it works! It's even got some well designed sprites too!

for this, it scores a terrible 1/10


Langton's Ant
AuthorSoup Dragon
Filenamelangant.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsThis is not a game. It's a simulator of a two dimensional Turing machine (as quoted in the information section). Basically, you just watch a pixel move around the screen randomly and ends up (after a long while) with a picture.

Dull! And disqualified for not even being a game. Tsk!


Manic Muslim - Official Osama Bin Laden Simulator
AuthorChaosmongers
Filenamemanic.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis one is an absolute gem. Unfortunately, it's far too well crafted and thought out to be anywhere near the winner... but we all know what happens when the game's actually any good, don't we, Woody?

You're Osama Bin-Laden, and after a hard day's work terrorising the capitalist merkins, it's time for bed. You must head home via a series of Manic Miner style screens collecting items to unlock each exit. The sprites are smooth, the graphics quite well done, and the puzzles easy.It wouldn't be amiss on the shelves of WHSmiths, having been created in Platform Game Designer which does this sort of thing quite well.

A good game, which defeats the object. A crap score of 4/10 - it's not great, too easy by far, but too technically good to win.

CommentsIt's basically Manic Miner (obviously!), but you're a muslim, collecting bombs(?). The thing is, it's really a very well done game! No sound mind you, but smooth motion and animation, great loading screen, and varied challenges per screen.

For this, it scores a very low 2/10


Maze
AuthorSteven Holland
FilenameMaze.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsYou have to escape the maze in 50 moves or less. Except you can't. There's no way to win. It just randomly generates how many possible exits there are, and whatever you pick will just lower your move counter by one.

Great! A 5 minute wonder to annoy you for a while! 6/10


Moped Glory
AuthorAllen Doe
FilenameMGlory.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsControl the bike in a random map, and pull bunny hops. Erm... that's not what actually happens in the game though. Pressing up makes me do a wheelie (I think) and pressing down causes the game to start again.

Poorly written, annoying introduction you can't get out of. half-arsed loading screen. Pretty much all the ingredients for a crap game! 7/10


Missile Attack
AuthorBen Rapier
FilenameMissileAttack.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsProtect your bases from the falling weapons of mass destruction the instructions go.

it's basically Missile Command, but it's quite a playable version of it! I really enjoyed this, and had several goes. This does drastically reduce the score I'm afraid though!

I have to give this 3/10 - It would score lower if it wasn't so easy to get into!


1D Noughts and Crosses
AuthorPaul E Collins
FilenameNoughts.tzx
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNow this is obviously flawed from the outset. 1D means just that - a row of three squares, with you battling a fiendish computer opponent trying to get a row of three of your "counters". No prizes for guessing what the problem there is then.

You take your turn, choosing square 1, 2, or 3. The computer then thinks for a short while before making it's choice. As there's only one square left after this, you are limited to where you can go next - and the computer only offers you one choice in any case.

After Paul E Collins' first fantastic entry with his invaders clone, this leaves a lot to be desired. It's as though he's tried his hardest to come up with an obviously crap game, which is indeed "crap to the max". However, he gets no points for this kind of tactic as it's just not on. Taking a game and trying your hardest to implement it well, and utterly failing in the process is the way to gain crap points - you can't start out with the intention of being crap. So a score of 2/10 crap points for this entry.

CommentsSimply put, it's The classic game, but with a grid of just one line. So all you'll ever get is a draw. you don't have to even play the game to know that, but being fair I did play at least one game, and it's good that the game ends in a STOP statement after announcing the inevitable.

All in all, a fairly respectable 6/10


Name That Game Simulator
AuthorSteven Holland
FilenameNTGS.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsTrying to emulate the Name The Game threads that frequently appears on World Of Spectrum's Forum, you must correctly identify the right game from the description given.

First go was quite funny, and I will fully admit that I didn't get the last one right first time (Then I got the joke).

But second go was the same as the first.

And the third too. It's not random - it's the same game every time!

Genius! Genius I tell you! It also scores extra points for the use of the STOP statement and the great mis-spelling of words in the "posts". 7/10


Advanced "Old Moore's Almanac" Simulator
AuthorDavid Mackenzie
Filenameoldmoore.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsRight... you make a prediction, you say when it will happen, and then the game tells you to wait until after that date and tell it if it really happened. If it did, you score a point!

What a fantastically stupid game. After one go, I thought to myself "CRAP! CRAP! CRAAAAP!". For that, I give it a good 8/10 score!


One Life Invaders
AuthorMatGubbins
FilenameOne-Life-Invaders.ZIP
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsIt's space invaders again, but this time, it's well programmed, with a great main menu design. But the twist here, is that it's even easier to play! There's only one single line of aliens, and they don't shoot back. Also you can fire up to 4 bullets in a row. the only slight annoyance is the moving shields that can get in the way a bit.

But it's entertaining for one, maybe two waves. After that, it gets really dull!

For that, and the great presentation, it scores a slightly below average 4/10


Shep
AuthorSimon Owen
Filenameshep.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsIf someone can tell me if it's supposed to flip and mirror the Sinclair Copyright message on the screen and then do nothing? If so, it's disqualified for not being a game. If not, it's still disqualified, because I'm a bastard like that!

Spam Coupe
AuthorBen Rapier
FilenameSpamCoupe.z80
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsWell, it's a Sam Coupe emulator. Except it's not. It's just the boot screen and font of the Coupe. And it's not a game. Disqualified!

Spot the Dot 2
AuthorAndrew 'spike1' Halliwell
FilenameSpotTheDot2.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionThis is vaguely reminiscent of a game I once saw reviewed in Crash. Trans-Am, I think it was. The main playfield looks very much like that, with lots of dots in it. And that's the point - you have to find, amongst a shedload of red pixel-dots, one single red pixel-dot. The dot isn't totally anonymous, as it moves under the cover of darkness (the screen goes black) and by carefully monitoring all the dots on the screen you can quite easily spot it. You have at your disposal three sensor sweeps, which will ring the dot making it even more obvious. Move your black search-o-dot over the offending miscreant, and victory is yours. Only once, mind, as the game will literally STOP and drop back to BASIC when you do. Or when you die, it's pretty much the same thing.

I found this vaguely entertaining. It's not too hard, and quite well presented. The fades to black are smoothly executed (Assuming your emulatior doesn't do screen update timings too accurately) and it does exactly what it says on the tin. I'll give this one 5/10 - a good effort, nicely done, but not crap enough. It's ineptitude we need here.

CommentsFind the dot that's hidden on screen. If you fail, it will "Mind Blast" you. And you have sensors! The dot apparently moves too!

I got it first time! This is not Spot The Dot I remember. You remember, the impossible to complete one! Again, the STOP statement is used to end the game here. And it is quite a tedious game, so a point added there too.

I'll give this a nice 6/10


Star Wars
AuthorStu Carter
Filenamestarwars.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsYou are placed in-game, in the scene of the trash compactor. You must avoid not only the ever moving wall, but the radioactive worm (Wha...?). Fair enough I suppose, but why are there random blocks appearing on the screen as well? What's with the U for up, D for down etc... method of controlling??? Seriously, this is one screwed game. I love it!

The icing on the cake is the Darth Vader Theme playing "IN GAME". Really terrible! I'm so giving this 9/10!


Sudoko
AuthorChris Young
Filenamesudoko.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsIn theory it's the annoying popular Sudoko game that swept the nation. In reality, I've not been able to play the game yet, because after choosing a level, it just sits there, generating the grid (I assume), flashing "Impossible Sudoko", and then generating again!

Triplets
AuthorAllen Doe
Filenametriplets.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsWell, it's kinda like Tetris, but single items fall down of different types. You have to match three of them to remove them from the board. Three of the same colour scores points. It plays fairly well, which is a bad thing, but one thing i did notice is that the game doesn't actually end, since if you leave the blocks to fall (and eventually reach the top of the screen), the game doesn't end. It just shows the next block at the top and never ends.

For that short-sightedness, it gains a point. But if you play properly, it's a proper game, and it works well too.

So it unfortunately scores a low 2/10


Unusual Lumberjack Adventure
AuthorMatt Rudge
Filenameula3.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsIn this text adventure, you are a mighty lumberjack, and you must learn the art of cutting down trees.

Now, I've not been very good at text adventures, and I really had no idea what to do to win the game, but it all worked, and that's a baaaad thing! Hell, it even remembers where you dropped stuff and what you have!

But it is a crap game nonetheless! So this gets a 5/10.


Waku Waku Move!
AuthorPaul E Collins
Filenamewaku.tzx
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsWOAH! Unpacking??? AY sound detection? Actual decent AY music??? proper title screen? NO! WRONG! You're not gonna win that way!

The game itself I think is supposed to be a version of those PS2 dance mat games. I can't see how you can't score though. I left the thing alone and was still scoring. But for the sheer effort in making it look and sound decent means it has no chance of winning this year! 1/10


War of the Worlds
AuthorBen Rapier
Filenamewow.zip
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsAnother decent loading screen, only saved by a crap rendition of the Jeff Wayne "Eve Of The War" rendition. The game is that your garden has been ravaged by the red weed, and you must use your weapons to help save the planet.

Before you even get your hopes up, It's the lawnmover simulator engine powering this baby and... well, you can work out the rest! I'll give it 5/10. There's only so many LMS variants you can play in one lifetime!


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