After mastering the art of programming, why not attempt to write a super communications program? (erm... this is, quite obviously, a poor-quality link to the Dial Hard column)
Simon Hindle, author of the Dial Hard column, which dealt with communications and, more specifically, spectacularly managed to prolong for eight months explaining how to link a Speccy to the Internet with a primitive VTX-5000 modem before finally conceding it couldn't be done. Simon once famously rang the Shed in a complicated manner to demonstrate his eerie telephone powers thus:
"Hello! (Bzzzz.) Simon here. (Crackle.) I'm calling from just down the road, but (phweeeee) bouncing the call off three satellites in America, Japan and Antarctica. (Fizzzzzz.) Right, bye!"
The effect was later reproduced by James Randi speaking far away from the mouthpiece through a comb and paper. Simon represented YS at a large international computer show by finding a press pass on the floor and pretending to be "Checkerton Fisnell, US Representative" for the day. He is currently on the run somewhere in Haiti, having been mistaken for Fisnell by spies and sucked into a web of global intrigue.