Culky's Column in Game Zone

Culky's Game Zone column invited readers to challenge him to fights. A typical letter would read, "Dear Culk - Here's a picture of my garage, which me and my dad have cleared a space in so we can kick you in"'; the reply, "Culky's added somefing to your drawing - chalk outlines of you and your dad, which is what'll 'appen after I'm finished with you, an' that." The challenges increased in complexity, involving power tools, an appeal for peace from a nun ("Oh yeah? Well why don't you come down to my manor? And bring some of your nun mates with you - as many as you like. Then we'll see how hard this Jesus geezer is"), driving over Culk in a car (he just drove over the reader first in his tank) and building sites. Perhaps the finest Culk exchange is here reprinted in full.

 Dear Culky
 You poof.
 Boz Boswell, Harrow, Middlesex

 Culky says: "I've got your full address and I'm coming for you Tuesday week. You'd better be tooled up an' that, cos I will be."