Secret cheesecake/Jarvis page

Cheesecake Review
India Knight

Frozen cheesecake is one of those foods, like banana-flavoured milk or battenburg cake, that one really ought not to like. Its infantile, sickly, moreish in the most irritating, pointless way and delicious once in a while. But you cant eat it instantly. You have to wait. I spent the main part of Wednesday afternoon watching cheesecakes thaw. Its so frustrating when you're feeling peckish.

Marks & Spencer Summerfruit Cheesecake contains blackcurrants and is very good. It had an annoying, common-looking piped whipped-cream edge, which it could have done without. Piping belongs on beige Y-fronts for sad men, not onperfectly decent cakes. Otherwise, it was the bees knees. Proper digestivey biscuit base. Delicate, creamy cheese, not too sweet and faintly tart refreshing, even. The fruit was fruity and you could taste each flavour distinctly.

Tesco Blackcurrant Cheesecake also has that annoying cream edge, and was not good. The biscuit base was oversweet and absurdly thin, so that the topping had sunk down into it and made it all soggy. The cheese and fruit were a gloopy mass and the fruit topping was too sugary. The syrupy stuff tasted of undiluted Ribena.

Safeway Blackcurrant Cheesecake was okay. It had that pesky cream edge, too,but a delicious biscuit base and nice, sharp-tasting fruit. The cheese was vanilla-flavoured and tasted slightly artificial. If they can't afford to addvanilla by using vanilla pods, they shouldn't bother, in my opinion.
Sainsbury's no cream piping, hoorah! was the least sweet. The cheese was verycreamy and perfectly bland, as it should be. Lots of blackcurrants in the topping; not too much gloop. Damn fine cheesecake.

Co-op Blackcurrant Cheesecake comes in individual portions in little pots.As part of a post-sandwich office lunch, it would do nicely, but it isn't cheesecake. The base is too soft and not biscuity enough, the cheese is whipped so much that it is really a mousse, and the topping is exactly like blackcurrant jam.

Marks & Spencer Summerfruit Cheesecake, 2.49/550g
Sainsbury's Blackcurrant Cheesecake 1.98/450g
Safeway Blackcurrant Cheesecake 1.99/450g
Tesco Blackcurrant Cheesecake 1.99/430g
Co-op Blackcurrant Cheesecake 51p/90g
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Pop star denies assault during Jackson routine
Emma Wilkins

JARVIS COCKER, lead singer with the pop group Pulp, denied yesterday that he attacked three children when he leapt on stage during a performance at the Brit Awards in London. Cocker, 32, bounded up steps towards Michael Jackson, who was in the middle of a song-and-dance routine accompanied by a group of children.

During a scramble on the stage, three children were allegedly assaulted and Cocker, who is 6ft 4in tall, was arrested and taken to Kensington police station. He was released on bail until next month.

The singer, from Sheffield, admitted that he had been showing off but denied that he had attacked children during the event at Earls Court on Monday evening.

"My actions were a protest at the way Michael Jackson sees himself as a Christ-like figure with the power of healing," Cocker said yesterday. "The music industry allows him to indulge his fantasies because of his wealth and power."

"It was a spur of the moment decision brought on by boredom and frustration. I just ran on stage and showed off. I didn't make any physical contact with anyone as far as I recall. I certainly didn't push anybody off the stage."

"I find it insulting to be accused of assaulting children. All I was trying to do was make a point and do something that lots of other people would have loved to have done if only they dared."

Cocker, who ran on stage with Peter Mansell, a friend, was due to perform with Pulp at a concert in Brighton last night.

Jackson, who was singing on a platform above the stage, said the incident, which was captured on camera, was disgusting. A statement issued through his record company, Epic, said: "Michael Jackson respects Pulp as artists, but is shocked by their behaviour and fails to understand their lack of respect for fellow artists and performers. He is immensely proud that the show went on despite the disgusting and cowardly behaviour of the two characters who tried to disrupt it. His main concern is for the people working for him and the fact that children should be attacked."

Scott Piering, one of Pulp's public relations consultants who was in the audience, said: "In no way did Jarvis push, shove or touch any children."<br> A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said: "A man from the audience got on stage and allegedly assaulted three children. One aged 11 was allegedly punched, another suffered a cut ear and a 12-year-old was allegedly thrown on the ground." Carlton Television, which filmed the event, said it had captured the incident on camera. "The footage is available for police officers if they want it," a Carlton spokesman said.

The awards ceremony, at which the Manchester group Oasis won three prizes, was due to be broadcast on television last night without Cocker's contribution. "I think it's safe to say that the audience won't be aware of Jarvis Cocker's presence during the Michael Jackson number," the Carlton spokesman said.

The children accompanying Jackson came from the Sylvia Young Theatre School in Paddington. Mrs Young is seeking legal advice over the alleged assaults.

Ashley Moore, 12, one of Mrs Young's pupils, was on stage when Mr Cocker ran towards her.Janet Moore, Ashley's mother, said: "It has left her very shaken, especially because so many famous people were watching. It is just unbelievable that he could act like that and go out to ruin a child's dream."

Bethany Garner, 7, from Teignmouth, Devon, told her mother that Cocker had trodden on her toe on the stage. Rachael Garner, Bethany's mother, said the children came off stage in tears. "Weeks of hard work in rehearsals were ruined."

N.B. - These articles/piccies were taken from The Times 1996 CD-ROM. They have nothing to do with YS whatsoever. You saying Jarvis Cocker is blurred is it?

Irrelevant Drivel