Tim Vine's Whittle Blunders, Mishaps, Stories and More Jokes

On one particular episode of Whittle, Tim Vine asked the ten remaining contestants what they would do with a 1 coin if they had one to spend now. One of the responses? "I'd give it to you, Tim, so you can buy a new joke book". And how right he was. Check out this selection of jokes:


I was in the park the other day, and I said to this woman, "What do you think of my shirt? It's got cactusses on it."
She said, "Cacti"
"Yes, but what about the shirt?"


Yes - Handel, who later teamed up with Hinge and Bracket to form The Doors!


"You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle"


I went to the video rental shop, and I said, "I want to watch some videos"<br> "Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"
"No, just for a couple of hours...."


You know, I went to fix this farmer's lavatory. So I opened the system and said, "I think you need a new bullock"
He said, "Don't you mean ball cock?"
"No - I left the gate open on the way in."


The other day, this man came up to me and said, "Do you believe in ghosts?"
I said, "No, you Victorian sailor. Now put your head back on and get out of my room"


So, I went to this Indian restaurant, and this waiter came up to me and said, "Curry OK?". "I might do some of that, after I've finished this."


I was in the casino, playing cards with my girlfriend who had fallen asleep. This bloke came up to me and said, "Poker?". "Good idea!"


OK, that's the end of the jokes.

Tim has a different catchphrase for every show. Once, one of the Four To Follow admitted to making a list of all the Whittle catchphrases (obviously, Tim joked that he also a list of them). One particular catchphrase was "What's The First Question?". Which didn't really work when Tim attempted to use it again half-way through the show.


In about three sequential episodes of Whittle, there was a bloke called 'Oliver Walker' who managed to get through to the second round. And he even won the money once as well. Cunningly, Channel 5 tried to cover up the fact that it was the same person: On one occasion his name badge said "Oli", the second time it said "Olly" and then finally it said "Oliver". Tim didn't seem to notice, anyway. Despite looking like him.


One episode of Whittle had Tim Vine stopping the show after about one question. Well, one question from the second part of the show. He filled in the time by telling some jokes, and asking the following question:

"How did (insert name of bloke here) famously mis-spell 'potato'? Was it 'Potato', 'Potato', 'Potato' or 'Potato'?
Strangly enough, the 'lucky' contestant actually managed to answer correctly.


In another episode, Tim asked the contestants who they'd most like to invite to dinner. The response? Well, one man said "If you fix it for me to win, then I'll invite you, Tim"
"I'm not Jimmy Saville, you know. But I'll hold you to that - if you win, I get half the money. Do you realise how much that is?"
Needless to say, he did win. And Tim probably got half the money. And, if no-one wins, "We can all go home and I keep the money", jokes Tim.


On yet another occasion, Tim Vine got a joke wrong. If you were paying attention to the previous page, then you'd know about this.


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