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Author search: Ant
| Fat Snake |
| Author | Ant |  |
| Filename | fat_snake.z80 |
| Year | 2002 |
| Position | No ranking |
| Format | Spectrum |
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| Description | That's not a bug, it's a feature...
Originally intended to be another boring Snake clone, this game took on an new and exciting slant when the author's incompetence caused the hapless snake to get smaller every time it turned.
Your aim, therefore, is to pick up food while turning as infrequently as possible. The game thankfully ends when the snake bites itself, hits a wall, or inexplicably vanishes into nowhere.
"At least it's got some originality." Ha. |
| Comments | No comments |
| ZX Maze |
| Author | Santiago Romero |  |
| Filename | zxmaze.zip |
| Year | 2003 |
| Position | No ranking |
| Format | Spectrum |
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| Description | A good idea made crap by the inclusion of only one level. I'm sure if we all dug out those dusty C90s packed with half finished games we were writing back in the 80s/90s there would be plenty of games like this on there. Excellent! Because I'm feeling generous (not because it is playing with a new emulator, not at all -Ed) I've put an RZX of this game here (zxmaze.rzx). Just in case it is a bit hard for some (f'nar). |
| Comments | No comments |
| Crap Castle Master (ZX81 Version) |
| Author | Anthony 'Monty Mole' Lycett |  |
| Filename | CrapCastleMasterZX81_version1.p CrapCastleMasterZX81_version2.p CrapCastleMasterZX81_version3.p |
| Year | 2004 |
| Position | 20 |
| Format | ZX81 |
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| Description | (Guest crap review by 'mel the bell') After a very long wait and pressing any button you are confronted by a mess....erm i mean a castle, not a bad drawing of a castle as the ZX81 goes. You move forwards towards the castle slooooowwwly. You find the door, enter and................you'll have to find out for yourself. The game updates after each keypress slowly but I suppose it is optimised since the heyday of ZX81 gaming to be as cutting edge as possible. Still it is an achievement in ZX81 programming getting a large classic Spectrum game such as Castle Master to run at all even if it is crap. Fire up your emulator and enjoy the experience. And beware, as the games author admits himself - "Yes, you won't see the last of this franchise. Expect the present and future Crap Game Compo to be flooded with a barrage of clones, sequels, imitations, remakes, and rip-offs!" Be scared, very very scared. |
| Comments | No comments |
| Crap Castle Master |
| Author | Anthony 'Monty Mole' Lycett |  |
| Filename | CrapCastleMaster_slow-37fph.tap CrapCastleMaster_fast-74fph.tap CrapCastleMaster_super-fast.tap |
| Year | 2004 |
| Position | 3 |
| Format | Spectrum |
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| Description | Oh oh! This looks ominous - there's that word "Crap" in the title again which usually means it is not going to be crap at all. I mean, look at all those controls! And any game that mimics Castle Master with the fab 3D FreescapeTM move-and-look-in-any-direction effects has just got to be far too good for this competition! Ah well, I suppose I better have a quick play of it before I email the author and tell him to enter it into one of those numerous "good game competitions" instead... Hmmm, hang on a mo, just waiting for the screen to refresh... erm, it's drawing something slowly, line by line... is that a castle? It's tiny! And completely see-through! It's a pathetic wireframe jobby - where's the shading?! And what on earth is that strange red squiggle over there? OK, I'll just investigate further - let's try forward... eh? "Please wait..."??? Why aren't I moving... tchoh, I think I'll go and make a sandwich... (3 minutes later...) Back with my sarnie (munch), and I don't appear to have (chomp) moved at all. OK, I'll try moving left... Gah, I have to wait again?... Hurry up!... Come oooooon!.... I've now finished my sandwich and still it hasn't moved!... MOVE DAMN YOU!... ARGH! This is TOTALLY CRAP, goddamnit!... Um.... Yes, it's true, it is actually really crap!... Wow! I can't understand it - the listing is full of really complex keywords like SGN, COS, SIN and ABS (nobody ever uses stuff like this in the CGC!), it all appears to be so neatly programmed... and yet this game is simply bloody unplayable because the framerate is a consistent 37 frames per hour! Anthony points out that you can set the emulator to run at maximum speed and the game is almost playable, but that's not something you can do on a real Spectrum so don't even think about using that as an excuse! This is just too dire - I'm going to bed... (Next day...) The author has now sent me a new, faster version (totally ignoring my CSSCGC rule #3 - grr!) which runs at a remarkable 74fph (that's twice as fast!). All he's done is alter the calculations between lines 7140-7190 a bit (I've included both versions so you can compare them, if you can be bothered). At least the game is still crap though. You can still walk through the walls so there's no point in worrying about using the door. The treasure is still invisible (all I can see in that castle is a flagpole!). It still takes approximately 52 days to play from start to finish at normal speed (35 of which are spent walking in a straight line towards that red squiggle that you need to collect - can you guess what it is yet?). The graphics are still rubbish - accurately rendered, but still aesthetically displeasing and crap in every way conceivable. So to summarise, this game just goes to show that you can still produce totally crap games even if you clearly have the programming skills to do so much better! Anthony hasn't resorted to naff jokes, STOP commands or spelling mistakes - he has simply come up with a stupid concept that clearly wasn't going to work from the outset (i.e. FreescapeTM in BASIC) and lovingly crafted a completely dismal 3D engine to make his nightmare a reality. He's going to do Doom next apparently! I can't, erm... wait...? (One week later...) Another update, another speed boost - so what the heck, I've chucked it into the zip for those of you that still want to compare them. However, it will be the originally submitted slowest version that will be judged... |
| Comments | No comments |
| Crap Total Eclipse |
| Author | Anthony 'Monty Mole' Lycett |  |
| Filename | CrapTotalEclipse.tap |
| Year | 2004 |
| Position | 36 |
| Format | Spectrum |
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| Description | Why bother writing a brand new original game for the compo, when you can simply reuse your old code again and again? Yep, it's another FreescrapTM game from the grandmaster of barrel-scraping, Mr Mole. Still, at least he's made the colours different. The castle is now a pyramid. Plus there's also a small aeroplane on a runway for some reason, although it doesn't do anything at all. Apart from that, the game's much the same - get the key (in the aeroplane) and go into the door of the building. It still takes yonks to move a single step of course, so speed your emulators up to the max unless you want the game to take hours. Alas, there's also the small matter of a ridiculous time limit in this game, which appears to make it impossible to complete. Everytime I tried, despite going straight for the key, by the time I'd turned to face the entrance it was 'time up'. (Solution: Be a cheating bast. BREAK the program and delete line 150, then RUN it again. Voila, infinite time!) |
| Comments | No comments |
| Crap Castle Master 2 |
| Author | Anthony 'monty.mole' Lycett |  |
| Filename | CrapCastleMaster2.tap |
| Year | 2007 |
| Position | No ranking |
| Format | Spectrum |
| Download Archive |
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| Description | Wireframe 3D treasure-hunting follow-up to Crap Castle Master |
| Comments | Well, at least it's an honest title. To be fair, A.L. Graphics' effort is technically competent - the wireframe castle is fairly impressive (and who knows, maybe historically accurate). The main problem with the game is that I don't know anyone who's got enough time on their hands to play it. Even the bloke outside the shopping centre selling the Big Issue is too busy to dedicate enough time to what is, in effect, watching a fictional castle being drawn (or indeed, watching paint dry. which maybe preferable). 95% for effort, 0.1% for gameplay. Except it actually only a deserves 5% for effort, being as it is a rip-off of the previous Crap Castle Master attempt. |
Matched 9 records out of 1017 currently indexed.
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