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Author search: Ian

Build That Tower
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameBTT.SNA STTBTT.TAP
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionForget SIMTOWER, now you can build your own tower ON YOUR SPECCY! This game ACCURATELY SIMULATES a huge CRANE to within a CENTIMETRE accuracy! Swing the hook, grab the blocks - BUILD THAT TOWER! Fantastic gameplay, amazing game engine and NEVER ENDING FUN! Who'd have thought architecture could be so much fun?! Get building your creations and ANNOY PRINCE CHARLES!
CommentsNo comments

Cantona Football
AuthorIan Coates
FilenameCAN.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionYou are Eric Cantona. Your mission is to be sent off the field as soon as possible after the game has started (it is considered bad taste in France to be sent off before the whistle). You control Eric as he moves around the field in search of his victims, but make sure your tackle is hard enough to cause hospitalisation and you'll lose points if the referee has his back to you !
CommentsNo comments

Castle
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameCAS.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionWho'd have thought that the simple text adventure and QUILL environment could be PUSHED SO FAR TO THE LIMITS?! This HUGE adventure (over 4 locations!) has you searching an Alchemist's castle for the hidden treasure! The text OOZES ATMOSPHERE and the vocabulary of over 20 MILLION WORDS will push your brain to the very limits! You'll never complete this one unless you're GOD!
CommentsNo comments

Cat + Mouse
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameCAT.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAnother attempt at a keyboard tutor. Did I have education on the brain when I wrote these or what?
CommentsWho would have thought that learning to type could BLOW YOUR MIND?!?!? Take on the role of a wacky mouse sprite as you try to escape from the wacky cat sprite by pressing the keys shown on the screen! But be careful, that darned cat won't give up without a fight! FANTASTIC DISNEY-QUALITY CARTOON GRAPHICS make this one of the BEST LOOKING EDUTAINMENT packages in the WORLD! You'll want to play this one OVER AND OVER AGAIN, even when you can type at 2000 words per minute!

Chess
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameCHS.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionBasically a direct translation of 1K ZX81 chess with slightly better graphics. Beware, you have to type the number first rather than the letter.
CommentsWould you ever have believed that a mere COMPUTER could PLAY CHESS at a level to match KASPAROV?! Well now it can with this ASTONISHING version of the age-old board game for your humble Spectrum! We guarantee that you will be TEARING YOUR HAIR OUT IN FRUSTRATION as the AI ENGINE thrashes you AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN! The AI is SO GOOD that experts predict the game will become self-aware and DESTROY THE WORLD if left running overnight! Don't say we didn't warn you!

Einstein
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameEIN.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA solitaire puzzle. The answer to the first question is one of O, Y, G and B. The board contains coloured pegs surrounded by a coloured circle. The idea is to move the pegs so that in the final position the pegs and circles match. Each move consists of taking the top peg of one column and moving it to the top of another column. Note: do not start this game with BRIGHT 1 turned on or it won't work.
CommentsFrom the author of Chess comes another FANTASTIC strategy game, a game SO COMPLEX that it DEFIES DESCRIPTION! Even the author has a hard time working out what you have to do! Programmed using new MIND READING techniques, this game was WRENCHED FROM THE SUBCONSCIOUS of the author while he was watching NEIGHBOURS one night! Destroy ALL of your brain cells trying to beat this one!

Keys
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameKEY.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionOH NO! Your city is under attack from the A-BOMB! And the B-BOMB! And the C-BOMB! Yes, typing tutor master Ian Collier is back with another HIGH ACTION EDUTAINMENT PACKAGE! Save your city by DESTROYING the evil missiles which are falling towards it! Just hit the letter of the current bomb and you'll BLAST it into a MILLION PIECES in a FANTASTIC HIGH RESOLUTION GRAPHICAL DISPLAY! This is one game which is SIMPLE TO LEARN, HARD TO PLAY and IMPOSSIBLE TO PUT DOWN! Yikes!
CommentsNo comments

Kingdom
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameKNG.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionMy attempt to simulate the game that you can find on the introductory tape of the BBC Micro. To alter figures use keys 6 and 7 to move the cursor up and down then press 0, type in the number and press Enter. Press Enter again to end the term. This game might speak to you if you have a Currah uSpeech attached!
CommentsNo comments

Maths Invaders
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameMAT.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAid your MENSA application and HAVE FUN AT THE SAME TIME! Yes, you too could be joining Uncle Clive in the world's BRAINIEST society if you play MATHS INVADERS, an INTELLIGENCE ENHANCING yet MINDBLOWING experience! GASP at the OUTSTANDING GRAPHICS, GULP at the EXPLOSIVE sound effects and GRUNT at the REALLY HARD SUMS! You'll NEVER cease to increase your IQ with this one!
CommentsNo comments

Maze
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameMAZ.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionFor GENERATIONS, the mysteries of the labyrinth have BAFFLED the human mind! Now experience all the terrors of the maze on your Speccy screen! You'll SCREAM IN TERROR as you become HOPELESSLY LOST in the INFINITE PASSAGES! Be warned that you may STARVE TO DEATH before you work your way out of some of these mazes! OUTSTANDING HI-RES GRAPHICS make this a MUST-HAVE for ANY budding games-freak! PHENOMENAL!
CommentsNo comments

Maze 2
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameMZ2.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionMaster the 2D version of MAZE and you'll be just about ready for the ALL NEW HORRORS which await you in MAZE 2 - THIS TIME IT'S IN 3D! So realistic, YOU WILL DEVELOP CLAUSTROPHOBIA! You can almost feel the breath of EVIL WINGED DEMONS on the back of your neck as you hopelessly search for the exit, with only an INFINITE SUPPLY OF MAGENTA GUNGE to mark where you've already been...... Will you be able to SLEEP EASY AT NIGHT if you KNOW you haven't completed this?
CommentsNo comments

Nim
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameNIM.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionThe famous game, where the computer always wins unless you know what you are doing. This game might speak to you if you have a Currah uSpeech attached.
CommentsOther lower-quality compilations (such as Cascade's ABYSMAL Cassette 50) would give you any old version of NIM. NOT THE CSS CRAP 60! We proudly present the BEST VERSION OF NIM EVER MADE! Yes, this version BEATS THE PANTS off modern day classics such as Doom and Dark Forces in terms of PLAYABILITY, GRAPHICS, SOUND and EVERYTHING ELSE! Pit yourself against the RUTHLESS AI ROUTINES as you attempt to BEAT THE MACHINE! But beware! The penalty for failure MAY BE DEATH!!!

Overboard
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameOVR.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionForget Chess! Forget Draughts! Forget Monopoly! The ULTIMATE strategy-based board game is RIGHT HERE on your Speccy! Overboard takes a simple set of rules and TWISTS THEM BEYOND BELIEF to produce one of the most ADDICTIVE two player games EVER PRODUCED! AMAZING FULL COLOUR GRAPHICS, ON-LINE HELP and TWO PLAYER ACTION go to make this one of the best releases ever conceived by man! Your friends will be FIGHTING TO THE DEATH to see who plays next!
CommentsNo comments

Poker
AuthorIan Collier
FilenamePKR.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionThrow away your pack of cards FOREVER and grab your faithful Speccy for a game of POKER! You won't believe the care and attention which has been LAVISHED on this game in order to create the ULTIMATE cards simulation for your computer! FULLY DIGITISED playing cards, UNBELIEVABLE random number generation for shuffling the pack, and DEVASTATING GAMEPLAY! What is the best hand that YOU can make with only three chances to change your cards?! Try POKER and FIND OUT!
CommentsNo comments

Reaction Time
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameREA.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionTHE SUPREME TEST of your abilities - the REACTION TEST! Find out JUST HOW GOOD you are by playing Reaction Time! Programmed by a team of EXPERTS over 40 years, Reaction Time is the ONLY program on the market designed with the SOLE INTENTION of testing your reactions! Find out if you're FAST! Find out if you're SLOW! Find out if you're DEAD!!! This program will tell you the lot! A REMARKABLE piece of programming!
CommentsNo comments

Shoot That Tank
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameSTT.SNA STTBTT.TAP
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionROMMEL RETURNS! Jump in your anti-tank gun and BLAST THE ENEMY TO KINGDOM COME! Yes, the tanks are back and this time they're in FULL COLOUR with GLORIOUS ANIMATION and EXPLOSIVE EFFECTS! You won't believe the OUTSTANDING graphics and ARCADE-RIVALLING gameplay! So realistic you'll get SHRAPNEL WOUNDS every time you destroy a tank!
CommentsNo comments

Stuntman
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameSTU.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionBREAK THE SOUND BARRIER on your motorcycle as you perform UNBELIEVABLE STUNTS in Stuntman - the first game to ACCURATELY SIMULATE what it's like to fall off a bike at 150mph and have to have your legs rebuilt with METAL PINS! Jump some obstacles, jump some more, jump some more, and then TRY TO SAVE YOUR CAREER BY MAKING CAMEO APPEARANCES ON KIDS TV PROGRAMMES! An UTTERLY ENGROSSING simulation, which cost over 80 MILLION POUNDS and the lives of SEVEN PEOPLE to develop!
CommentsNo comments

TEWShips
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameTEW.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionTired of playing games? Play TEWShips and you hardly have to do a thing! Yes, this is the first game that THE COMPUTER PLAYS BY ITSELF! Try to beat the machine by placing twelve ships on the board, which the computer will then try to destroy using the UNBELIEVABLE AI ROUTINES at its disposal! FANTASTIC GRAPHICS mean your eyes won't get bored while you're watching the computer find those ships! An OUTSTANDINGLY IMPRESSIVE CONCEPT!
CommentsNo comments

Wari
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameWAR.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA game for two players. A move consists of emptying a numbered receptacle and distributing the seeds. If the last seed lands in a receptacle on the opposing side containing one or two seeds then you capture them. You then also capture the adjacent ones if they contain two or three. There may be some special case rules at the end of the game which I can't remember.
CommentsA strategy game for two players which is SO COMPLEX, it DEFIES DESCRIPTION! You'll never believe a game of such complexity could be SQUEEZED into a humble Speccy! In fact, it's so complex that EVEN THE AUTHOR DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY IT PROPERLY!!!! I'm giving up now while I've still got my SANITY!

Whale Hunt
AuthorIan Coates
FilenameWHL.SNA
Year1996
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionKill the whale by dropping a depth bomb on it
CommentsNo comments

Andrew's
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameAND.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA fast-action maze game utilising all of the Speccy's resources! Watch in awe as the computer draws a red line, then colour it in using the cursor keys and trying not to visit the same square twice!
CommentsNo comments

Balloon
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameBAL.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionBurst some balloons and brush up on your maths at the same time! Yes, this is "edutainment" at it's finest, a fully configurable burst-fest involving solving the sums and popping the correct balloons by pressing SPACE! Don't forget to hold down B, N, M, L and ENTER to restart the program once you're done! ;-)
CommentsNo comments

Blitz
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameBLI.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionCan you ever get enough "bomb the buildings" games? Nope, didn't think so! Here's a scorcher so hot it was written BEFORE THE AUTHOR OWNED A SPECTRUM! Based on a Vico 20 games from Your Computer in 1982, this is the height of bomb-dropping fun!
CommentsNo comments

Bash N' Grab
AuthorIan Armstrong
FilenameBNG.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAnother high-speed arcade action game, with graphics and gameplay to rival PC "banned-em-up", Carmageddon! Blast down the high street picking up lost bingo takings and mowing down old ladies whilst avoiding the traffic cones, potholes and oncoming traffic! Beep beep!
CommentsNo comments

Breakout
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameBRE.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAn amazing emulation of an old electronic game, but without the annoying battery consumption! Play the game of breakout by simply pressing a key when the ball reaches the bat in order to fire it off! The time at which you press the key determines the angle at which the ball bounces back - pressing it earlier makes it go more to the left! But watch out - press it too late and the ball is OUT! Infinitely addictive!
CommentsNo comments

Bullseye
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameBUL.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA fantastically fun text-based hunting extravaganza! And then some! Name any square and it will reveal a letter. You can use this letter to cross off one of the letters in the animals listed below by pressing the animal number. Occasionally it will give you a star instead of a letter. This is a penalty. When you have revealed all four of the stars your time is up and your score is the number of animals you "bagged". You bag an animal by crossing off all its letters.
CommentsNo comments

Caves Of Mondonia
AuthorAdrian Samm
FilenameCAV.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAt last! A console-quality arcade platformer on your Speccy! Guide your funny looking bloke through multiple levels of platform mayhem in order to reach the exit! Jump over nasties and spikes and stuff and generally have a lot of fun! Who needs Mario 64 - this beats it HANDS DOWN!
CommentsNo comments

Countdown
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameCNT.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionYes - there's no need to wait for the program to come on Channel 4 any more, you can now play from the safety of your own PC! A fantastic fun game for two players, including ALL of the rounds from the TV favourite! Press V or C to choose vowels or consonants, 1 to 4 to choose numbers for the number game, and then bend your mind on the conundrum! Fantastic!
CommentsNo comments

CPEL
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameCPE.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionPractice your typing AND your spelling with this marvellous "edutainment" product from the makers of Balloon! Fill in the blanks in the words as quickly as possible in order to beat the nasty blue guy to the top of the ladder! Fun for kids of all ages!
CommentsNo comments

Fruit
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameFRU.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionWhy waste cash on those nasty fruit machines down the local arcade along with all the rest of the truant schoolkids when you could win WIN W-I-N bigtime on your own Speccy? Follow the on-screen instructions to win pots o' dosh in the fantastic sim with HUGE graphics!
CommentsNo comments

Ground Strike
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameGST.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAnother fantastic arcade game based on an old Your Computer ZX81 listing! Fly across the scrolling landscape avoiding blue things and dropping bombs on stuff! Use P and L to go up and down, and press 0 to drop your payload! Astonishing graphics AND gameplay!
CommentsNo comments

Hockey
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameHOC.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionRelive the days of the old bat n' ball TV games with this classic for two players! Use the bottom two rows of the keyboard to control TWO bats per player and try to get the ball into your opponent's goal as many times as possible! An amazing conversion!
CommentsNo comments

Invaders
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameINV.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionEver thought it was impossible to write a fully-fledged Space Invaders clone in BASIC? Well - it ISN'T! Here's one now! Full colour, all the features of the arcade original, and MORE! Save the earth now, if you can stay awake long enough! Keys Z and X to move and SPACE to fire!
CommentsNo comments

Maze Chase
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameMCH.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAnother fantasic MACHINE CODE game converted over from the ZX81! You are the "+" in the lower right-hand corner. Your job is to get home to the "H" at the top of the maze. But there is also a bug, represented by a "*", and if it gets there before you then you have lost. You also lose if the bug catches you. If you find yourself trapped with no escape then it can help to drive straight at it because the program gives you a 50% chance of re-starting the level if you show such boldness. Use keys V, B, P and L to move, and press CAPS SHIFT to start each maze!
CommentsNo comments

Maze Change
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameMZC.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionThe amazing sequel to the fantasic Maze Chase! The idea's the same, get your guy home at the top of the screen. This time, however, the bug's gone on holiday but left a continually changing maze in his absence! How many times can you make it to the top before the time runs out?! Use the same keys as Maze Chase and give it a whirl!
CommentsNo comments

Number
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameNUM.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA fantastically addictive game based on that old chestnut you used to find on calculator watches (back when digital watches were still "cool")! As the numbers appear on the left-hand side use any key from H to ENTER to set the number on the right, then press any key A to G to eliminate any matching numbers! The better you get, the faster it goes! Beware, if the row fills up with numbers then you're dead - and you only get three lives!
CommentsNo comments

Practice
AuthorIan Collier
FilenamePRA.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionBack to the land of the old TV games! This time you're up against no-one but yourself, as you try to keep the ball in play by bashing it against a wall! Use SPACE and ENTER to control your bat and get some serious practice in until you die of boredom!
CommentsNo comments

Slalom
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameSLA.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAll the fun of the slopes without the broken limbs and four months in traction! Join in this fantastically realistic skiing simulation and speed down the slopes avoiding the flags! Red hot hyper-speed action that'll leave you sweating and unable to sit still!
CommentsNo comments

Snakes and Adders
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameSNA.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionA fun board game for two players! Follow the instructions in order to place shapes on the board. The first piece is the beginning of a snake - each shape you place extends the snake in a straight line or a curve. The object of the game? Force your opponent to make the snake go off the side of the board! Insanely difficult and superbly addictive!
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Squash
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameSQU.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionEver wanted to play Practice with a friend? You need SQUASH! Similar in appearance to Practice and based on the old TV game again, this time you take up raquet with a friend and have to hit the ball in alternation! Use the bottom two rows of keys to control the bats and bash away!
CommentsNo comments

Tennis
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameTEN.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionIt's back again! The old TV game spawns another classic conversion - this time it's Tennis! Rope in a friend and recreate the joys of Wimbledon in your own front room - try to get the ball past him more times than he gets it past you, it's that simple! But hugely addictive! Use those bottom two rows of keys once again to control your bats....
CommentsNo comments

Target
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameTGT.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionNow you can have target practice on your Speccy screen in this fully configurable simulation! Aim your crosshairs at the moving target using keys V, B, P, L and 0 and BLAST 'EM! Simple to play, difficult to master, this is a totally enthralling shoot-em-up!
CommentsNo comments

Tank Sums
AuthorIan Collier
FilenameTSM.SNA
Year1997
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionBrush up on the old maths (again) while destroying tanks! You must defeat the oncoming troupe of battle-ready metal behemoths by solving the sums and dropping bombs onto the tanks bearing the correct answer! Press any key to drop a bomb and then MARVEL at the amazing graphics and animation! Learning was never so much FUN!
CommentsNo comments

Chemistry Test
AuthorIan Collier
Filenamechemitest.tap
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionDo dull things with chemicals, like heat them and stuff like that then try to guess what they are.
CommentsAlistair: Being a chemist I feelk that Ian was trying to stir up soem support from me, but little does he know that this is not the type of chemistry I like. Crap but just because so is most chemistry.

Graham: This game sent me into a hypnotic state of boredom, and as such has a valuable future in the field of hypnotherapy, and is therefor anything but crap. However, should it ever be harnessed by Paul McKenna in the making of one of his dreadful TV shows, then it may be re-assessed.


Clifftop View
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameCLIFF.SNA
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionYou play a seagull trying to crap on peoples hats, keys are the cursor keys with 0 to fire.
CommentsAlistair: I like the idea of this game, it is a crap idea. Unfortunately the gameplay is there and the design is far to good to win.

Graham: As an accurate simulation of a Seagull this game excelled, and indeed is better than many of the titles that regularly top the Spectrum sales charts. It also includes a strategic element in the way it forces the player to balance the pros and cons of flying low to increase accuracy. Far too good to win.


Curse of the sandwitch
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameCURSE.TAP
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionYou must overcome the curse of the Sandwitch, by playing through various levels. keys as per most adventure games.
CommentsAlistair: I feel that Graham is a bit harsh with this game, true it has some crapness in it but i once again feel that this is of far too high a standard to be truly classed as crap.

Graham: This had many elements of crapness that places it high among my possible winners, from massively long beep tunes (which are unfortunately in-tune, which does detract from the game's crapness level) to the fact that it's an adventure game (and I loathe those buggers). This is a game to look out for in the possible winner's pen. If anything can seriously harm this game's chances it the excellent usage of graphics that easily rivals the best that the GAC ever created...


Enforcer, The
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameENF1.SNA
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionKill the bad guys, using the keyboard. Make sure you kill the right one.
CommentsAlistair: It has to be said that this game is definitely to good for this competition, form the graphics to the gameplay its all here.

Graham: I would have happily paid ?7.99 for this game, such is my love of it's classic gameplay, and superb machine code music. I suggest that the author of this game immediately removes himself to the nearest software developer and uses this pinnacle of gaming excellence to get himself a job there.


Enforcer 2, The
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameENF2.TAP
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionAgain kill the bad guys using the keys.
CommentsAlistair: Definitely a good game, again far too good for this competition.

Graham: The amazing 3D visuals of this game made me duck as bullets came screaming out of my monitor and thudded into the wall behind me. A truly worthy follow up to The Enforcer and a game of such excessive excellence that it cannot possibly be considered crap in any way.


Entertainer, The
AuthorGanad The Barbarian
FilenameENT.TAP
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format128K
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DescriptionListen to the tune The Entertainer.
CommentsAlistair: Not a game. So sorry not a winner.

Graham: A 128K rendition of the tune that gets just enough of it's notes completely and ear-jarringly wrong to ensure that I proclaim it the crappest program of the competition. Unfortunately it's not a game, so I have to disqualify it. Bad luck that man.


Forgotten Village
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameFgtn.tap
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionSomething to do with a forgotten village i suspect :-) Its an adventure game.
CommentsAlistair: Far too good once again, Gonad you must try harder. a nice little adventure game, ifi could find out what i was supposed to be doing :-).

Graham: Despite being truly scared by the grisly opening loading screen, I ventured deeper into this game to find that it was a worryingly competent looking text adventure with good descriptions and an adequate parser. How this didn't end up on a Crash cover tape I'll never know. The battle sections of the game where also as exciting as any WWF match, and for all these reasons this game cannot be classed as crap, merely misguided.


Honest Joe
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameJoe.tap
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionYou play Joe and have to guide him around the town. Some of the names might sound familiar.
CommentsAlistair: Another good game from the Gonad, but again too good to be classed as truly crap, as Graham says far too much fun to be crap.

Graham: This game could have almost been a license of Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, a film that I immensely enjoyed. Unfortunately for the game, this mental association of mine means that I had nothing but fun in Joe's quest to gain ?100. Even when I was caught by the rozzers (ouch!).


Pod
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenamePOD.TAP
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionGet Pod to do all manner of things by typing in your instructions.
CommentsAlistair: I love this, its not really a game just a way of truly interacting with your computer, think tamagootchi only more advanced.

Graham: Pod is a low-budget version of Little Computer People, and although in many ways crap it loses out by the amazing coincidence that it actually understood the first two words I typed in (those being "dance" and "jump") meaning that the programmer was far too thorough in his researching of the human experience and it's digital implementation.


Sentences
AuthorIan Collier
Filenamesentences.tap
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionRearrange the words into a proper sentence.
CommentsAlistair: Dull, dull, dull. Very crap. Almost a winner.

Graham: This seems to be randomly spewed words with little or no gameplay, as a result it uncannily mimics my most hated of all genres, the text adventure and instantly loses out.


Sheepdog
AuthorIan Collier
Filenamesheepdog.tap
Year1999
Position1
Format48K
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DescriptionGet a sheep through a gate.
CommentsAlistair: Dull, dull, dull. Very crap. The winner due to the complete lack of anything to it. I chsallenge anyone to enjoy this.

Graham: This game boasts dodgy controls, piss-poor graphics and negligible gameplay. In other words, it's currently odds-on favourite for the winner unless something else truly crap appears.


Snow
AuthorGonad The Barbarian
FilenameSNOW.TAP
Year1999
PositionNo ranking
Format48K
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DescriptionWatch some snowmen play with their bells.
CommentsAlistair: Guess what this is another one that is not a game, also its a little out of season.

Graham: This is a blatant rip-off of an old BBC-B program that was used at every opportunity every Christmas to annoy the hell out of the teachers. However this isn't Christmas, so this program simply served to remind me that the weather is far too hot and that I was pining for colder times. Grrr!


Mega Fruit Machine
AuthorIan MacIntyre
FilenameMegaFruitMachine.tap
Year2004
Position20
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionWould someone please kindly explain to Mr MacIntyre what a fruit machine actually is, before he goes and writes a totally crap and ill-informed game based on one (or something)?

Damn, too late...

CommentsNo comments

Spectrum Roulette
AuthorIan Gledhill
FilenameSpectrumRoulette.tzx SpectrumRoulette.z80
Year2004
Position13
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionAn extremely dull fast-reaction game for people who like squinting. Simply wait for the pixel (bomb) to appear on the screen, then hit a key as fast as possible to diffuse it. As you progress through the rounds, you are given less time to react. But if you fail to diffuse a bomb, then *BOOM* - your Speccy resets itself (a nice touch as this saves the player having to reach for the reset button themselves).

Somehow, I didn't get the feeling I was playing real Russian Roulette. Having the Speccy reset itself is not really a terrible forfeit, compared to playing for real and risking having your brains blown out.

In order to improve things, the author has created a peripheral device - the 'Specgun' - which fires real bullets and thus makes gameplay much more realistic. Unfortunately, Ian is unable to release the Specgun for sale to the public at the moment, as he's currently locked away awaiting trial for the manslaughter of 14 beta-testers. (Fib.)

CommentsNo comments

Cannonball, The
AuthorGrecu Cristian
FilenameCannonball.tap
Year2005
PositionNo ranking
FormatSpectrum
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DescriptionNo description
CommentsMade In Romania says the first screen, to a tune of what sounds like completely random notes. Since I know of no other romanian Spectrum programmers, I cannot judge whether this is from the cream of programming talent, or the worst. Still, it crashed the moment the game started in 128k mode.

But once I did get the game running, it's actually a quite playable game, with nice simple images and animation. If it was released in 1982, and for the the educational market, I wouldn't be surprised if I had seen it in schools.

So for that, it scores an incredibly low 1/10


attack of the flying saucer!
AuthorIan
FilenameAOTFS.z80
Year2008
Position120
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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DescriptionThis game looks like it is straight out one of those multi-platform type-in listings books. By multi-platform I mean the BASIC program in question is deviod of any user defined graphics, colour or sound such that the same listing can run with only minor modifications on anything from a TRS-80 to a VIC-20 and of course a ZX Spectrum too.

This restriction also guarantees that most multi-platform listing games are cack, with the notable exception of text adventures. Of course that really isn't the point because the whole idea of these listings is to study them, using them as a learning aid. I know the author has realised the educational value of the listing because all of his variables are very sensibly named.

Want to change the message displayed when you die? That's line 45 my codeguru friend! And so on...

Actually play the game if you dare, but be warned that the player and enemy bullets are suitably flickery for this BASIC affair. Again studying the code will show you that they are erased just after they are drawn - hey it's a nice touch and here in the CGC batcave we really appreciate it! Oh yes and you have to press SPACE to start playing.

CommentsUse of the word cack by me in the game's initial review was arguably a little harsh, yet undoubtedly?scientifically accurate. Furthermore cack is quite a complement to be bestowed on a game of this competition.?This one is without a shadow of a doubt cascade tape filler material. In fact I had to play every game in the original cascade tape, just to make sure that this wasn't one?of them. The low score reflects the fact that this one is?one of those quickly knocked up efforts that keeps the compo rolling on through dark winter nights. I hope the low score does not dissuade the author from potential future crap game efforts, because if Cascade 50 Volume Two ever hits the shelves then a place on it must be reserved today for this one! Low ranking just reflects the simplicity of the listing and the number of games in the compo. Otherwise, job well done!

Brainf*ck Interpreter
AuthorGianfranco Zuliani
Filenamebf.tap
Year2008
Position91
FormatZX Spectrum 48K
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DescriptionThis is another interesting addition to the new development environments now available in this year's competition.

Read this Wikipedia page to learn more about the fascinating Brainf*ck language.

I have purposely screen grabbed the beginning of the BASIC listing of this entry because as can clearly be seen, the Brainf*ck source is embedded in a REM statement in line 10. This means that theoretically, someone could use this entry to actually submit a game written in Brainf*ck to the CSSCGC competition.

Again, I won't spoil the fun of showing what the program does, so again you can download it or run it from the arcade. Of course this assumes that you aren't a Brainf*uck guru who can work it out just by looking at the source!

CommentsI like this title and I have to say that the score could have been much higher had the author written a crap game in brainf*ck and submitted that. This - I would have really liked to see! I've long had a passing interest in Brainf*ck and similar esoteric computer languages whose only purpose is intellectual mischief and basically wasting time and resources. It would have been great to see someone take up the challenge of entering further BF programs into the CGC and this is also what I really hoped for. However, since I get a migraine attack anytime I try to author/debug BF code, I can quite understand why no-one else tried it either. Was glad to have this in the compo though!


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