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Author search: Woody
| CrapBot |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | CrapBot.tap |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 64 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | On seeing the name of this title in Woody's submission email, but before I saw the game itself, I had some momentary fear that it may be a simulation of what happens when you have just gone to the toilet only to realise too late that there is no toilet paper remaining. However, my fears were quickly allayed as I fired the title up. This being the first of two impressive titles to be found in the CGC in-tray today. Welcome to the Walled City of Crap-Escher, which has rested for a thousand, thousand years in the midst of the Great Desert inhabited by only the deadly Bots who have made it their home. I started playing this one for a while and erm.. started to actually enjoy it. Woody tells me that this game is based on his boombot 2 engine and also mentions that he hopes that he can lose the compo with this one. Alas, too much effort has gone into it, probably some incredibly lazy title will lose instead. Although, I haven't quite made my mind up which one yet and therefore who it will be joining myself and a select few others in the eternally grim Club of outright CGC compo losers. Very welcome it is though to get an isometric title in this year's CGC. |
| Comments | Ironic that this is the title that Woody went all out on to try and lose the compo. I know this depends on the judge, but for CSSCGC2008 (as it was also last year), the games that lose the compo are five minute affairs. I should know, I wrote one of them 2007 which is why I am sitting here writing this now. This one of course is actually quite good with a real-time user-rotatable isometric display. Flawless animated graphics and a real sense of purpose. Of course you are going to think Ant Attack when you see it, but the sprites are completely re-drawn and the game effectively a completely different one. This means I'll just have to give it a reasonable score (not too high, not too low). I know that Woody wanted to either win the compo or lose it I just hope that by ranking this game almost in the middle of the ordering does not maximise his disappointment! |
| Don't Lose Your Head |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | Dont_lose_your_head.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 29 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away it appears that garden moles are everywhere, pushing the ground up from beneath your feet. Or perhaps it is really a sinister alien trap that just makes things appear that way? Dropped onto an alien planet from a hastily departing mothership, your orders are strictly to pratt around in front of an unfeasably large gun until either your head gets blown off, or you make it to the next level. Note to mothership pilot - Drop me off behind the gun next time, not right in front of it, cheers Space Marine. Also, someone tell me this isn't a government operation! Use keys O and P to move the spacesuited player character around making sure to avoid the lethal combination of standing on temporarily raised ground at the moment a head-chopper projectile is passing by. Excellent Gibbous phase planets overhang in the sky, giving a real alien-world feel to the game. |
| Comments | Again, top quality graphics and m/c sprite routines give an air of professionalism to this title which is on the face of it a crap gaming experience, yet a very funny one. Somehow this game is evocative of many cheesy sci-fi B-move flicks from the 80's and you just have to admire the attention to detail. I feel that if Woody got all of the best bits of his crap games together and sorted them out into some sort of coherent plan, there'd be an actual good game in there somewhere! This one entertained me for a while as I dreamt up countless amusing backstories for it. On the second pass of judging I was again taken aback by the artistic quality of the graphics and the absolutely perfect sprite drawn routines - so not quite crap enough for the top ten for example! |
| Dot Man |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | DotMan.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 45 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | During the 1980's, in the wake of PACMAN, thousands of maze-like games were released. There was a brief flirtation with using non-pacman like player characters in these games around that time. You may remember this, although by the '90s the vast majority of pacman rip-offs (or tributes) had fallen back into line with a pacman like entity fully expected in most games of the genre. Although, a few notable mavericks remained. This title features a pacman like maze, filled with dots and has a humanoid doteater, (for me at least) this is reminiscent of some of those aforementioned games. There are some other notable differences between this game and other pacman type clones. In fact it may be more accurate to describe this one as a cross between Pacman and Maziacs (or perhaps not!). The maze, dots and player sprite are blown up to amusingly preposterous proportions. There are no ghosts or enemies of any sort so it is seemingly impossible to die (classic crap game hallmark that is!). On completing each level, you are faced with an identical level, which takes a short while to generate on each occasion. Play this for ages and then look up at a plain white wall - you may well hallucinate a negative image of the game! |
| Comments | It is crap this one, but in a delightfully retro way. Firstly, you can't die as far as I know. I was wondering why there weren't any ghosts in this pacman-type affair. Then I realised that because the play area is blown up (A bit like zooming in with a microfiche) if there were ghosts then you would not even see them until they appeared on the adjacent square to the player by which time a gobbling would be unavoidable. You should clear the maze (which once you have started, you just have to finish - hunting down those annoying lost last couple of dots). Then pat yourself on the back and play an exactly identical maze all over again! |
| Dumb Miner |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | dumbminer.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 119 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | It had to happen and finally it has! A derivative of a rather popular and well known Matthew Smith game has now arrived at CSSCGC 2008. You may have thought the original was tough although I think I can safely say that this one is even tougher, in fact impossible! You may find yourself somewhat amused or perhaps perplexed. If it is any clue as to what to expect, then Woody writes:- Hmm, now do I get away with this attached entry ;) Only joking! Well it is in the compo, so Woody did at least get away with entering it and let's face it the compo badly needed another submission at this stage! |
| Comments | On receiving this entry, I immediately contacted Matthew Smith to elicit his comments on it, to which he replied Utterly Brilliant! (or was that David Darling?). Not really of course, but I'll simply describe this one as a copy of Manic Miner that has been POKEd to make Miner Willy fall through floors thereby rendering the game somewhat amusing yet completely unplayable. We like a bit of variety in the compo and I guess this sort of thing has never been submitted before. So I'll just slap an appropriate low score of 3.57 on it and be on my merry way, hoping wholeheartedly that next year we may see Dumb Set Willy and wondering what possible thing another compo judge could write about something like this! So if you wanted to lose the compo Woody, then this was a pretty decent attempt, not too far off the target! |
| Earth Invasion |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | EarthInvasion.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 88 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | Fire some slow pellets from your small yellow chopper into the big pink thing. Be sure not to shoot one off prematurely, because if you miss the target then it's a long wait until you can fire again. On screen instructions steadfastly stay on-screen during the game, lest you forget which keys to press. Read 'em quick though because they'll be partially overwritten during the course of the interstallar battle. Nice large alien ship sprite wouldn't be out of place in R-Type. Excellent Snowy TV effect when you die. The whole game has something of a cinematic feel as the action takes place within the bounds of something not unlike a moving filmstrip. Of course I'm sure it is not actually meant to be a strip of film! You have but one life to save our precious blue orb from ominous mass extinction. Woody states:- I'll not bother coming up with any usual game blurb for this other than to thank Elite and Hewson Consultants for their pretty graphics I, erm, borrowed :) |
| Comments | Most of Woody's submissions get scores above a nominal 5.0 because they have had a bit of effort put into them and they invariably written in machine code. This one is quite possibly the only game I've ever played where the instructions stay over the play area after the game has started, only to get successively wiped off the screen by the?ongoing sprite action. What a nice touch for the CGC that was. The user launched projectile is so slow in this one - it is actually about the same speed as the enemy spaceship. So, if you hesitate and then miss on the first firing you will be royally screwed. I also have to ask, how big is the enemy ship sprite? 64x64 at a guess - how can you compete against that with your tiny copter? This one also features analogue TV snow effect. |
| Escape from Niburon Prime |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | Escape_from_Niburon_Prime.tap |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 28 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K/128K |
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| Description | A treat for sci-fi fans ensues in this latest quality release from Woody. The backstory is rather reminicsent of an episode of Blake's 7 or Space 1999 (OK well maybe just a little). After suffering the unfortunate crashing of your spacecraft onto the titular planet, you must use QAOP keys to navigate blindly around a dark alien maze with only a limited air supply available. You must use your powers of stumbling about in the dark to their fullest ability, lest you be incarcerated and preserved forever in a naturally airless crypt. Woody tells us:-
With a fully animated intro and high-speed, high-quality graphics, be prepared to be thoroughly engrossed for up to a minute in this brand new, action packed release for any Spectrum 48K/128K machine. Or something. *Updated 14/11/08* - Woody tells me:- Maybe I should perhaps add that the paths through the tunnel sections in Escape from Niburon Prime are actually completely visible on a real 48K machine, and also in the more recent versions of SpecEmu :) I'm hoping, given time, that it gives a little more incentive for emulator developers to add the extra brightness levels to their emulators. We'll see... |
| Comments | Yet another showcase of Woody's advanced machine code skills and trickery. Marvel at the spaceflight segment, followed by the part where you have to escape a seemingly invisible maze on the planet's surface. Ho ho, you might exclaim! That's a funny gag, the maze is invisible. This is comedy genius, I must say. But therein lies yet another twist unbeknownst to the casual player as I once was.
You see, revealing the secrets of this game is rather like peeling layers from an onion - i.e it may make you want to cry. Play this on either a real speccy or on the most recent versions of SpecEmu and you will actually see the maze become perfectly visible - due to some little known quirk causing colour1 PAPER on colour2 INK to have slightly different intensity than colour2 PAPER on colour1 INK! So think of this one as firstly a game, but secondly and emulator tester.
Good score awarded due to this neat technical trick. |
| Advanced Fruit Machine Simulator |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | Fruit2.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 61 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | Thanks to Woody's ongoing development efforts, we are continuing to get a crap game each day and it is well known that a crap game a day keeps the boredom away! This one reminds me of two things. First thing was when I was child I used to go to the local arcades and spend pocket money on the one arm bandits in fact too much money was wasted on these machines, but it was highly enjoyable. Eventually I received a VIC-20 fruit simulator game, very much like this entry. Comments abounded such as Think of the money you are saving, playing it on the computer as I gleefully inserted a virtually infinite number of credits by repeatedly hitting F5 on the keyboard. Of course the realisation kicked in soon enough that if real money couldn't actually be won, then a big part of the thrill had been taken away and within a few days I was back down the arcades again, my appetite for real gambling fuelled even further by the computer. Second thing this reminds me of is a well known local radio show of the '80s called Hold Your Plums, which had a fruit machine theme running through it. Robotic sounding phrases such as Hold yer Lemons have stayed stuck in my mind until this day and I absolutely cannot play a game like this without thinking of this! This simulator features expertly drawn high-resolution fruit graphics as can be seen in the screenshot and some simple but pleasant tones as the wheels come to rest. As I write this, I just got a line of three cherries and won ten further plays. Nice! *Updated 31/12/08* - Woody supplied an updated version of the game. The reels now spin in the oppositie direction (mentioned by Dr BEEP). Also there is now a HOLD feature. |
| Comments | What we have here is a carefully crafted game which certainly takes me back nostalgically to the early eighties when I could barely see the pale yellow lemons on my black'n'white telly as I attempted to play similar games back then. Behold, the addition of the HOLD feature almost doubling up the fun-factor as Woody submitted the second version of this title. Dr BEEP had pointed out he likes his reels spinning in the opposite direction and so Woody kindly obliged and the result is this version which I judged. The game is crap because the reel scrolling is discrete and not done at the pixel level so a tip of the hat for getting that wrong (I mean right in the context of the CGC of course). Play till you run out of money (unlikely) or patience in which case you may well decide to reset your speccy with 2p still in the game balance (tut tut). |
| Identity Parade |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | IdentityParade.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 32 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | Be sure to wear a clean pair of underpants for this one. For you are about to suffer a rather nasty road accident. You don't want the eternal embarrasment of the paramedics seeing skid-marks on you as well as the road! Fortunately, although the accident in question is completely unavoidable for the player (call it fate), there is a chance that the offender will be brought to justice. Let's not ask any awkward questions, like what where you doing standing still in the middle of the main road, with your eyes closed and wearing a pair of headphones? Anyhow the perpetrator is subsequently lined up in an identity parade along with eight other random members of the public. Is your memory good enough to tell the assailant apart from the others? The police will very generously give you up to three attempts to nail the offending motorcyclist. Choose wisely, or the offender will be laughing in the face of justice. |
| Comments | Woody's superb rendering of urban United States during the first phase of this game gets everything right. The dollar signs in the shop Window. The motorcyclist driving (just about) on the right of the road. This also is a retro game with traits of far more modern games. Because, what we basically have here is a non-interactive cutscene. As for the interactive part of the game, well it's a quick gag meaning success is again in the hands of pseudo random elements. Or at least I think it is. I can't be totally sure, as I don't think I ever actually won the game. In any case - a reasonable score for the time and effort - the graphics are indeed memorable and really just of outrageously high quality I have to say. |
| Mind Game |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | Mind_Game.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 68 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | Entering an intergalactic mathematical contest, you play the part of our centre-parted seriously intelligent representative of Earth. Now, try not to let the planet down, because if Earth becomes known throughout the Universe as idiot planet then we'll know who to blame! Just because the alien opponents may have mastered the art of hyper-dimensional spacetime folding and interstallar travel it does not mean we can't pull a fast one over them when it comes to simple decimal arithmetic. Anyway, us Earthlings can always brush up on our maths skills, but they'll always be ugly. I haven't yet decided whether the alien contestant is incredibly gummy (missing his false teeth), or simply has a rigid skull-like head. |
| Comments | This one momentarily gave me flashbacks of an obscure PC game from the mid-90's called Mind Grind, but I don't know why I'm mentioning it here since no-one else on the planet has played it apart from me. I pitted my wits against the (again highly artistically rendered) alien opponent but the bugger kept pipping me at the post on every question. I finally did manage to outwit the alien once or twice but this game made me realise that mathematical ability is indeed something that peaks around age 18 and then goes rapidly downhill from there. Hope I never get invited onto the Krypton Factor. |
| Music Demo |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | musicdemo.tap |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 98 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K/128K |
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| Description | Woody's prolific CGC campaign continues onward throughout these twilight days of CSSCGC 2008. Meanwhile, we continue to speculate on just how many entries we can obtain by the end. This is still very much an unknown quantity, but it's always nice to see the submission of entries continuing unabated. As for this title, it's not a game as such, so therefore is automatically admitted into the CGC as about another dozen previous entries or even more were not games either. This program offers a selection of several popular speccy tunes for you to listen to. The clever bit about this program is that it detects your hardware. So if you run it on a system with an AY chip (for example a ZX Spectrum 128K), then it will use the AY chip to play back the tunes. Secondly, if no AY chip is detected then it will use the BEEPER. But, rather than using BEEP commands, it uses Woody's SOUND command which is a BASIC extension. In fact it is the SOUND command itself which detects whether you have an AY chip present or not. So, if you want to hear the beeper output, make sure you are not using one of those emulators or settings which permits AY music even when emulating a ZX Spectrum 48K. Otherwise, you may find that you only hear the AY version. I have placed this title in both the 48K and 128K crap game arcades so that both versions can be listened to at your convenience. |
| Comments | This is only the lowest scoring of Woody's entries because it is not actually a game. However I nearly cacked myself with excitement at the prospect of this BASIC extension, providing a SOUND command which can use either the Beeper or the AY chip if available. Have an AY? Don't have an AY? That's fine, no-one cares. Or at least the SOUND command doesn't. Your ears may tell a different story. A great novelty for the CGC and it is nice that pre-128K owners are still cared about. It is 2009, time to upgrade to 128K yet? No, thanks to Woody we are rubberkeys fanatics till we die hahaha.... Correction: It isn't the lowest scoring of Woody's entries now, as Dumb Miner is lower than this one. I forgot to change this on the 2nd pass of judging. (doh!) |
| Rescue Planet Earth |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | Rescue.tap |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 46 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 128K/+2 |
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| Description | I'm pleased to add another Doctor Who themed game to this year's CGC. Being a fan of the old series (and largely ignorant of the new series), for me this game immediately invokes memories of the chubby Colin Baker era, The Mysterious Planet and of course the planet Ravalox itself. Although perhaps the Earth was moved again in the new series with latter day fans thinking "no DP!" this has nothing to do with Ravalox! Anyway as for the game itself, use keys O & P to guide the Tardis left and right with our home planet in tow (don't be too rough with it now - we don't want to upset the resident life forms). Be sure to avoid crashing in to passing objects, except for the large 'F' characters which are in fact extra fuel and you must grab these as they are crucial to your journey. Again, this is another 100% machine code game from Woody and you can marvel at the high speed line and star drawing routines. *Updated 29/11/08* - Woody has submitted an improved version of the game with sampled sound, faster graphics and additional in-game obstacles. Also shows the keys on the intro screen. |
| Comments | Due to my previous ramblings on the CGC site, many know I'm a Dr Who fan, stubbornly of the old series only. So, there I found myself liking this title which involves the movement of planet Earth around the galaxy. This actually happened during the Colin Baker era. I now think I have realised that this game is set in that era, because the Tardis itself appears wide and chubby, no doubt accommodating this particular incarnation. Again, you can't fail to be impressed at Woody's clear m/c mastery diverted down a CGC avenue, as one can't help thinking there's got to be some none-crap games along the pipeline somewhere! Fast and yet it is arguably crap gameplay wise, but too darn smooth and good, technically speaking. IIRC Woody updated this one with a version that was much improved and even faster than the original! |
| Road Crosser |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | RoadCrosser.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 34 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
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| Description | A quite accurate simulation of how difficult it can be to cross some of the UK's major roads in this day and age. Or perhaps it is set in the near future when 8-lane highways are the norm, between your house and the corner shop as you desperately venture out for a loaf of bread. Strangely, this one is quite reminiscent of when I perilously crossed under Junction 10 of the M53 as a pedestrian a few weeks back, except that this game seems slightly more easy than that particular real life escapade. That junction is currently earmarked for future pedestrian access upgrades (after someone gets killed? I wonder). Anyway, I'm veering off topic with this game-induced flashback! A cursory glance at the BASIC code reveals this one to be choc-full of BASIC command extensions, which look pretty useful. For a moment I thought I was looking at some sort of Beta BASIC type listing but I know Woody "rolls his own" BASIC extensions - so perhaps this is the case here? Playing the game, I managed to cross the road four times before getting mowed down. At least the drivers are good enough to stay in lane and there are no problems of traffic weaving. Mercifully, speed limits are also adhered to. With some careful timing I found a way of safely crossing the entire eight lanes of traffic in one movement, which I was feeling quite smug about until I somehow still managed to get killed. |
| Comments | Horace goes skiing without the skiing (or Horace). Instead the protagonist consists of a rather helpless stick-man stranded on the wrong side of the road. 8 lanes of identical cars mercilessly stream past. This is a sort of "Warhol" of Frogger type games. The repetition - it's almost a social commentary on how everyone's lives have become the same in this endless daily grind, but just where on Earth are all those cars going? It can be quite tricky this one if you are little impatient So sit back and get a feel for the timing and eventually you can master this game. Subsequently, you may become super confident and start darting across multiple lanes in one fell swoop. Eventually though it will end in a fatality I'm sorry to say. |
| Scumball2 |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | scumball2.tap |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 9 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 16K |
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| Description | Woody Writes:- "I've added an old CGC entry-wannabe that I did last year but never sent it in for the last compo. I forgot... d'oh!
It's been mentioned on WoS though before and many people may've already seen it. The complete game runs in display memory." So, this entry is listed as needing a ZX Spectrum 16K minimum. Truthfully though it would run on a 6K ZX Spectrum if such a machine ever existed. I checked the stack too - and even that is in the display area whilst the game runs. This is what I like about the speccy! You can have your machine code safely tucked away in the pixel area of the screen. Then you can even completely hide it from view or draw all over it with attributes, thanks to the separation of the pixel bytes and the attribute bytes. Makes me realise now that the Acorn Electron was really crying out for this sort of facility after all those games I played which had visible machine code all around the screen, detracting from the game somewhat. You can see parts of the MC program in this title. Just check out the intro screen with scrolling large text. The code bleeds through the text which is a rather nice effect. |
| Comments | Now this one really is neat and any self respecting machine code hobbyist must gape in awe at this. Embedding the entire machine code for the game and the stack and variables too in the lower part of the screen must rank as something to make you say.. "ecky thump! that's really neato..". Just think - a full game inside a .SCR file! You could upload the game and the screenshot to the WoS archives in one single upload operation and then earn yourself a cup of tea with the time saved. Again the game features overly good graphics and sprite routines from Woody, even if the playability is at CGC standards. But it's impossible not to be impressed with the whole concept. Woody even provided a POKE for this one which will no doubt end up in the Tipshop at some point! |
| Sub Chase |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | SubChase.zip |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 84 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 16K/48K |
| Download Archive |
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| Description | Imagine the scenario, as J?rgen Prochnow and friends remain silent and scared inside their vulnerable U-boat in the depths of the deep blue sea. Recall the endless tension as we rooted for our German heros as they pitted their wits against the allies, until that final heartbreaking scene of DAS BOOT when they were all killed by a ruthless aerial bombardment from the RAF! Nah, instead, chuckle with glee as you mercilessly blow submarines to bits from your magenta bomber. Try not to hit too many friendly targets though! Nice use of pseudo-non-perspective allows for both a wide sea-surface and a depth to the sea within the same contiguous block of colour. Fine flight control is permitted via the use of a throttle and air brakes too. We are being spoilt with features here! *Updated 26/03/08* - Woody has now supplied a 16K version of his game, also available via the download link. |
| Comments | Nicely implemented with colourful graphics and smooth scrolling, I'm sorry but this game isn't actually that crap! I've downloaded worse from the WoS archive with an original price of ?12.99. The game does have some crapness, perhaps like the simple sound, or the fact that the "top of the sea" and the "depths below the sea" are merged into one flat surface, initially confusing the player. Woody needs to move the "lever of crapness" about two or three notches towards "totally crap" in order to crap things up a bit more. I'm sure an Atari 2600 owner would rank this amongst one of their top ten games if it were on a deluxe bank switched cart.
Anyway, Woody can't help but provide an excellent level of support for most of his crap game efforts and so he eventually provided a 16K version of his game (which was tested under "Virtual ZX Spectrum" and was very contentious - I said "contentious", get it?) oh, never mind. |
| Skier, The |
| Author | Woody |  |
| Filename | The_Skier.szx |
| Year | 2008 |
| Position | 58 |
| Format | ZX Spectrum 48K |
| Download Archive |
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| Description | Woody's entertaining marathon campaign in this year's CGC continues with great vigour! In "The Skier" I like to think of the player character as a tipsy Prince Charles making his way down an alpine mountainside with thoughts of Camilla on his mind, as evidenced by the huge smile on his face. Of course I'm 99% sure that is not the author's intention - so please forgive my warped imagination. Trees scroll asynchronously upwards as you continue downwards, lulling you into a false sense of ease. In fact the game is not that easy. If you get distracted for a mere second or two or even blink, you could end up going right into a tree, which will be painfully replayed from a first person perspective. Note the position of the skier - he is in the middle of the play area, not right at the top, so you don't have much warning of trees directly in your path. Also it can take a little while to move fully sideways out of the way. Nice touch to keep the Imperial measurements which have not yet been outlawed in crap game entries. I eventually made it to "Slope 2" which felt something of a personal mini-achievement. |
| Comments | As the Who may well have sung in an alternative universe:- "I've looked under chairs, I've looked under tables. I've tried to find the key To fifty million fables: They call him The Skier.... I've been searching low and high.... I won't get to get what I'm after Till the day I die!". Apart from that what can I say? It's another vertically scrolling skiing game in which the trees seem to individually "walk" up the hillside, out of sync with each other. Excellent insane grin on the face of the large headed magenta protagonist. Skiing shouldn't be that much fun, well not unless your skiing pants are on slightly too tight. |
Matched 16 records out of 1017 currently indexed.
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