5text: The Holiday Channel

The Channel 5 teletext service licence recently came up for renewel, having been cast off by Sky5Text who previously ran the 5text service (which, incidentally, had a weird "24 hours ahead" policy on the TV listings and once billed a film as being a "Comedy quiz with Tim Vine" on C5 Now&Next). We were going to bid for the licence, but forgot to send back the form. However, had we won it, the service might have looked like this:

P100P100 (2nd attempt)
P102 HighlightsP102
P102P102
Praise The Lord/The Devil's Own TV ShowLondon Streets/Around The World In 72 Hours
Six Point Turn (with Bono from U2)/Enterta!n (with Rick Astley)I Worked On A Magazine/Quick Me Mum's Out
Between The Lines/Winning The LotteryCelebrity Maths/Johnny Ball's Diary
Somebody Stole My Bag (with Peter Falk)/I Lurve Last SundayP44D ALS
P281 That Prezzie ShowHowz It Made?/Celebrity Interior Designs From Hell
Building Blocks/What's Under The ClothCheggers Cooks Lunch/When All This Was Fields
Inner City Sumo/Techo PrisonersA Thousand Islands
The By-Election Bus/WaterloggedThe Later Than Late Show/Plumbing Nightmares
Last Train To Nuttersville/Late Night Hide And SeekP283 - The Aussies
P481 Sabrina OnlineP481
P481 Sabrina OnlineP481
P266 Iron Workmate/Only Phones And Horses/I Love YSP266 Ten Questions/Music Review At The Club

However, we didn't win - Teletext Ltd did. So, we can expect C5 Text to look something like this:
P100 Holidays


When we heard the news of Teletext's demise we nearly decided to resurrect UnsatisfactoryText. That was before we checked the headlines.
P100 Apocalypse


Most of these pages are now on Teefax (P537-9)


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