Culky's Life Tips
Geez! Alright? Colin here, isn't it. Got miself a nice little earner isn't it. I'm taking a painting down the national portrait gallery. I'll split the profits with them - that'll do us alright won't it. I'll tell you what I'm going to paint - Culky's mum.
But first, I've got to get mi red tank back from the police car pound - they've towed it away and I've come to get it back isn't it!!
I've got another little earner in the pipeline isn't it - I've applied for a lottery grant. They'll send me some 'nice paper' to do up mi mum's flat - 24 carrot gold door handles and that. And I'm going to put a golf course on the front lawn so everyone will come round to mi house instead of Feltham Green. But what they don't knows is I'm going to charge them a fiver to get in isn't it!